A go player who found that his friend caroused with his wife one week-end fled and built a new life with the other one's wife explaining "Cross-cut? Extend!"
There was a Go player named Terry Who had a daring, bold theory Cut, cut all you can Get yourself in a jam Your opponent is bound to get weary!
-- Graeme Parmenter (originally, written from bad memory) (Everyone in New Zealand knew who the real Terry was)
(These ones are pretty poor, but it might start off something.)
There was a 3k player from Toulouse, Who had a bad tendency to fall into a snooze. So while he snored, his opponent won the board, upon waking he said "I didn't deserve to lose!"
(Not based on real a person, honestly)
There was a dan player from Gent, Who saw the four in the corner were bent. So he smiled from ear to ear, As he pushed back his chair, saying "That, my dear friend, was excellent"
(Sorry for the non-Dutch speakers)
Er was eens een gobord en stenen Aan de bar een stel prachtige benen Een sente zet, snel ! Toen waren zowel de vrouw als de aji verdwenen
A tournament player from Bari had plans for a furikawari. Two moves down the line he had to resign: he'd missed a straightforward atari.
A student who hated to lose took 5 or 10 minutes a move his sensei said "while it's a tedious practise" at least it allows me to snooze
A room full of clam shell and slate A painstaking game was my fate We opened debates Soon in dire straits The sense of good shape came too late
A Japanese insei on the way to Korea, was playing on the boat crossing the sea. On the gently rolling Goban sliding stones helped his chuban, he said 'Neptune must really like me !'
A brilliant nidan from Seattle Annoyingly stones liked to rattle Until a 1-kyu With lots of glue Brought tranquility back to the battle.
In the midst of a heated jubango, I made a hideous dango. My opponent cried, "Right! "I've got you tonight!" And danced a gleeful fandango.
A book-learned high kyu? from Kent In late chuban found cause to lament, "I opened on tengen, "Just like Go Seigen, "But don't know where my influence went!"
An earnest young dan from Sri Lanka Was getting the hang of the haengma. Her stones flowed and surged, Groups linked up and merged. She said, "Soon my games'll all be in Ranka."
A rude and hotheaded shodan At the club, had nary a fan. Complaining of damage Due to his rampage, Said they, "he ruined a goban."
Here's another one! I'm Italian, so please forgive me if the metric is not correct... Ah! And, by the way, this is a little autobiographical... ;-)
There was an old 3k of Roma Who always had a garlic aroma With his bodily smoke, his opponent would choke, That unfair 3k of Roma
Can I suggest a variation?
There was an old 3k of Roma Who always had a garlic aroma With his bodily smoke, His opponent would choke, And promptly fall into a coma.
In last week's go course, Ms. Guo Juan patchi'd a magnetic goban! She showed the kiai of Akira and Sai. As you guessed, I'm a Hikaru fan.
Speaking of which, I submit to her Go skills, humour and wit "Interesting move !" preluded the proof my idea was a total misfit
There once was a young girl from Brooklyn Whose Dad said, "We're racing to shodan!" He'd taught her to play But his edge lost its sway After she finally bought her own goban.
I went to a toy-selling store To ask for this game we adore. A Go-set I craved But left quite amazed - It doesn't exist anymore!
(True story - when the shopkeeper said to me "That game doesn't exist anymore" she was referring to a specific edition a western toy company had once released. She didn't know there are also other editions....)
When playing among many flies "How very annoying !" he cries. Until, with a frown, Looking where one sat down, He discovers: "That group of stones dies!".
After analyzing the endgame components, young Michael hesitated a moment; then threw it against the wall -- goban, stones, and all -- prior to uppercutting his opponent.
Upon losing, Sue cried out in pain and screamed "I never lose! This is insane! You cheated! You suck! I just had bad luck!" Then typed: "Thanks for an excellent game."
(Dedicated to the IGS addicts)
Bildstein: This one's superb. I love it!
A tourist in fair Hokkaido Begged a wise man, "Just one game of Go!" Said the learnèd sensei, "Being so eager to play Loses two stones in strength, don't you know."
I once sought to find a new way To calculate best endgame play. For weeks I did slave But neglected to shave And so found that I'd grown a gote.
A pale pimply kid told me "Yo!" "Let us play a game of that go." "I never played before now." "But, I'll give you 9 stones and a bow," "'cause I read Hikaru no Go!"
As much as I like to play Go Some joseki I just do not know If I play a kakari To prevent a shimari A pincer will cause me much woe.
There was a Go Player from Detroit,
who thought his fuseki adroit.
The ladder he played,
left his stones filleted.
His opponent found his shape easy to exploit.
I frequently wonder of sai
Is he a girl or a guy
he makes my head whirl
cause he's so like a girl
he crossdresses and i wonder why
Staring staring deep in my soul Great mounds of shell echo a bowl Go never lies Now my demise Eyes formed by black slate, color of coal
The best way to approach a komoku Is to sample your favorite brew Get too drunk to see That your kakari Has ended in quite a snafu
To find the kami no itte I emptied a bottle of sake It then became clear That the honte right here Is to fill sake bottle in sente
more to come when I am sober... jwaytogo
A dan-level baker from Gilling Sold pizzas at three for a shilling: The dough he would bake In a nakade shape With a stone in the center as filling.
A mathematician from Kiel Composed endgame tsumegos with zeal He said, "Everyone's found, that the solutions are sound, but the way I construct them's surreal"