Great Moments in KGS Chat

    Keywords: Humour, Online Go

Overheard on KGS ...

More KGS quotes can be found at [ext] or in [ext] (mostly french quotes)

Note: Please post new chat logs at the end of the page.

Table of contents

The Right Way to Resign

Piggoro: yay, now he can resign!
meditation: oh!
Piggoro: in sente!


One name has been changed to protect the innocent.

FB: won't be able to make it for few weeks
FB: after this Friday
FB: wedding and all that jazz
FB: (my wedding.)
meditation: oh!!!
meditation: congrats!
FB: thanks
FB: even if I'm away from go...


dsaun: "Come to my rengo said he!" // "four players are better than three" // "my mistakes can be grand"// "if you'll just lend a hand" // "so come to my table, its free!"

dsaun passed away of COVID-19. For more of his classic poems, see The Rhymes of dsaun

If You Don't Like Ko...

OrangeKyo [26k]: you know... the winner of a ko battle only gets like 1 more pt than the loser right?

Saint Sente

PhilipGlas: what about the saint?
PhilipGlas: mentioned earlier
Djon [12k]: the saint mentioned earlier has a personal page at [ext]

Leasing Territory

Ubiquity [?]: look at all that black territory
Ian2 [?]: I'm just leasing it
Ian2 [?]: and I had to pay a two-corner security deposit

A KGS Haiku

Meririm [?]: honinbo matches
Meririm [?]: can be found in magazines
Meririm [?]: not captain's games ^^

[Editor's note: While the haiku was quoted as written, it should be noted that changing the third line to "Not TheCaptain's games" would fit the 5-7-5 meter perfectly.]

Beginners Can Come Up with Great Questions

senile: Can somebody help me please?
volcane: what's the problem?
senile: I have a problem and not sure where to report it
senile: to the maker of this program or to sun
senile: it's a graphical problem
senile: the stones never land in the squares
chewbacca: lol
senile: any idea?
chewbacca: the stones are placed on the intersections
senile: ohh u 2 have the problem?
chewbacca: yes
volcane: yes its very common
senile: i'll try another server then, thanks

Bad for Both

(A thinking too loud ... and in writing)

A: Black this ..., then that and ...
A: However White then ... and ...
B: A, by your reasoning both are doomed!

Fundamental Lamentation

(After solace met an attractive woman)

Eternauta: your fault
solace: ahhh noo!!
Eternauta: ask phone number is priority!!!!!
solace: i didn't know
Eternauta: that was urgent move
Eternauta: urgent moves first

Overheard in a Rengo Game

Ubiquity [?]: why did you let this horrible thing happen to black
(after partner tenukis)
Ubiquity [?]: oh, good, the stones are in the depths of hell
Ubiquity [?]: and left to rot

Haiku Players?

During Guo Juan's Ing Go School? Lectures (20050619)

olczyk [16k]: Haiku players?
muarw [-]: high kyu
Jakobicek [9k?]: lol
liquis [15k]: heh

Irony Is a Tasty Fruit

Move 32
meditation [3k]: hehe
meditation [3k]: captain just played "life"
meditation [3k]: now he plays "lifesucks"
Move 34
Cuda [7k]: yes, hilarious isn't it :P
meditation [3k]: now that is humor


ewatran123: what dos KGS stand for? Kilograms???
Coalis: LOLLL
ewatran123: i'm serious! what is it?


Nu0li [2k]: I've tried to teach my 8-year-old brother, but he cant concentrate :P
zedi [19k]: ive been trying to teach my 20-year-old friends, but they cant concentrate either :)


utwig: ah, the universe is pretty easy, it just goes clockwise

Worthy Advice

(Sunday morning, 3 a.m.)

liza: hu everyone
liza: how arou?
Kakashi53: hello everyone
Kakashi53: how r u all on this very fine day?
liza: ium uok
impulse: hello liza
liza: hedlpo
impulse: don't spill your drink on the keyboard
liza: ok
liza: oi wotnt


Move 1
lowhand [3d]: hi
Move 2
dezomb [2d]: hi
Move 3
lowhand [3d]: where are you from?
Move 5
dezomb [2d]: earth
Move 7
lowhand [3d]: where are you go?
Move 16
dezomb [2d]: picnic

Biographical Note

dadada: i thought nugy was a 40yo truckdriver living with mom
nugatory: 45yo truckdriver, but i killed my mother before i could drive

Trouble in the KTL

(After UTDE's T game offer had been accepted by Mef and Drim)

UTDEspy: Would anyone who is Not trying to sandbag me, who is between 13 and 20k, like a teaching game?
romanwahoo: i'm 15k
UTDEspy: I hate you all
romanwahoo: i can play like a 15k if you want
NannyOgg: i am 16k!
UTDEspy: So full of endless hate

Go Doctor

Empiror: i am a doctor of go
Uvas: O.O
Uvas: doc, my tesujis are killing me!
Aurak: let me take a peep
Nyanjilla: take three stones and see me in the morning
Empiror: eat a dragon, u will be cured
what: afraid your HMO only covers sabaki
Joslem: rofl

Most Debatable Move

The longest kibitz discussion during a single move's interval that I can remember was no. 162 in the fujitsu tournament game [ext] bigbadwolf vs. kcaly22 on 2006 Jan 29th. There were so many comments (all concerning the actual move) that the bold line "Move 162" was shifted out of the CGoban text buffer before move 163 was played. (Unlike disrupted games where a player has left and hence the discussion is open-ended, the game was ongoing, and intense!)

Update: Pequeninos(7d) vs kghin(7d) (2009. 12. 18. 0:40 GMT+1) @ move 57

What Is PST?

Hu: PST = Pacific Standard Time = California, Oregon, Washington State, British Columbia
aussiemate: PST is what you get when you drink too much
OhMichel: PST?
aussiemate: can also mean angry, I'm told
pel: PST is also an attention seeking sound :)

KGS Oldies

xevad: stop drinking water gain many stones
xevad: big sharp and painful ones
Pampero: stop drinking and get liver stones
aussiemate: micrometeorites make hardly any sound at all
Pampero: but they hurt
aussiemate: true but not a lot
jackmani: the sound is working now but i turned up my speakers full volume and my computer is full volume too. I can hardly hear thesound
aussiemate: hmm
aussiemate: weird%%%% aussiemate: you have wax in your ears?
beeblebrox: wait, kidney is liver now?
aussiemate: maybe if you take off the head phones you might hear better?
aussiemate: I think he meant Gall stones, Beeblebaby
aussiemate: no, maybe you are right
aussiemate: you might get kidney stones if you stopped drinking
DrStraw: you are flooding
aussiemate: ^_^
beeblebrox: but if you don't drink, nothing would pass through the kidneys to construct these stones
lighthand: lol chat kops are so funny
aussiemate: DrStraw says you have to flood your kidneys though I think he meant flush
DrStraw: DrStraw says you are not too old to be booted
aussiemate: <oops>


NannyOgg: it's amazing how they allow women on the server nowadays
Nyanjilla: yeah....
Nyanjilla: without chaperones, too
NannyOgg: it's a shame%%%% Nyanjilla: and we can show our limbs, too

The Wife

paccap [3d]: thanks
paccap [3d]: My wife came in at this moment, so I had to switch to another window
JeffChang [9d]: oh...

I Hate...

DrOlczyk: You know what I really hate? Those ballless wonders that play to the end, then try really cheesy invasions-- you know the kind that work only when the other guy makes three mistakes in a row. Then go to the count, and resign when they see the count goes against them.
Lynx: nah.
Lynx: I find them funny.
Lynx: I hate it when they then escape.
Lynx: Or win.
Mef: Indeed
Mef: I hate those guys who play the stupid invasions that only work if you make 3 stupid mistakes......and then you make 3 stupid mistakes
GameFAQs: :)
mayk: don't hate them. hate yourself. helps to improve ;)
Mef: oh I hate myself too
Mef: I just like being bitter

The Nug Effect

Drimgere: well with you (nugatory) it's always an odd game, so it matters not how i play, just how you play
Drimgere: if you want to win, you'll win, if not, i'll win
Drimgere: my will is irrelevant when playing you

Economics Specialist

masaaku: I majored in econmics? does that give me some credentials?
otofreq: so you can count (I hope)

True Intentions

Reviewer: Anyone need a review?
mersault: i neeed
Reviewer: Upload it to the server and I will be glad to heap abuse on y- i mean I will be glad to assist.

And What Affects YOUR Games?

dv: ever wondered if the music that you play on the background has influence on your game?
Ganpachi: ever wondered if crippling hangovers has influence on your game?

The Difference

mexyz: with beginners, it is hard to tell a misclick from a no-brainer
mexyz: with strong players it is almost impossible to tell

Get Strong at Tactics

sinful1: btw, like my entire thought process during a game is "please dont play there, please dont play there, phew!"

Tastes Vary

tetris: espy%%%% tetris: *chomp*
JMEdwards: eating espy?
tetris: espy routinely says *chews on tet's arm*
tetris: this is my first attempt to return the favor
JMEdwards: ah well... carry on then

Stronger Players

[Name Withheld]: many times, when a lower ranked person plays a higher ranked person - they seem to be stronger than they appear - this is most likely due to the fact that the lower ranked person isn't used to bad moves, while the high ranked person wouldnt make the same bad move

Seen During a Game

Move 190
[KoKs] [-]: but i'd like to continue fighting
shygost [-]: game almost over
Move 192
[KoKs] [-]: i lose for sure
shygost [-]: well, I would hope so... I am supposed to be better than you

The Name of the Game

Fingathing: (after winning a game) oh, well, we can call it a draw
desuetude: haha
desuetude: as minue says, you can call self-atari an attack, but you do get captured

Pretty Out There

godspeed: that sounded like cat stevens
ImNoSensei: you know he went crazy?
ImNoSensei: denied all his work, including the rights on his songs
godspeed: i knew he went muslim, but crazy, no
ImNoSensei: well, he went pretty far muslim
ImNoSensei: like integrist muslim
godspeed: o_O
WellDuh: they believe in the integers?

On Cuteness

Shibori: L7 is a cute move
godspeed: meaning you don't like it?


miles: i watched NHK, this pro comes in to wild applause
miles: two tiny giggling girls ask respectful questions
miles: i thought, how like them to show a pro surrounded by bimbos
miles: turns out the bimbos are also pros hehe


tigger: anyone else for fun fun fun fun
tetris: good evening, everyone! :)
tigger: good evening
tigger: ^_^
tigger: tetris up for fun?
tetris: hmm dunno if we mean the same thing by fun
tigger: fun is fun
tigger: and tigger know best about fun ^_^
tetris: no, i guess we don't

In the Nick of Time

sinful1: woot, successfully prevented another game from entering yose%%%% Lynx: resigned?
sinful1: yeah
MrShintou: phew

Fate and Geometry

TheProject: suet
desuetude: lol whenever someone says my name all by itself on a line, i know an insult is on its way
TheProject: the full triangle is a *bad shape* and should *never be used*
TheProject: In fact, in ancient times, creating a full triangle was equivalent to forfeiting the game.
TheProject: It was considered the honorable way to resign
desuetude: lucky if they didn't cut your head off
TheProject: this is go history! only 4k and up know about that

Game of the Gods

akahi: moving stones is physical activity
wicket: not sure i'd call go or poker a sport really
skywalker: go is greatest mind sport
reprisal: if sitting still for a few hours is your definition of physical activity
reprisal: i should start telling everyone that jogging and pushups are how i got my 2d
akahi: just like rocky :)


Truc: escapers should be forced to expand KGS acronym until they reach the end of recursion

Big Problem

ScudRunner: i never get the people on crack or toking on drugs.... all my opponents are completely conscious and that really holds me back sometimes

In Search of the Obvious

elefunt: I entered "tesuke" on Google, and it asked me, "Did you mean tppuk?" -- that was an interesting question
elefunt: "Whyyy yes -- I did mean tppuk, thanks"


WellDuh: That's a beautiful remark.
WellDuh: Plus! It's especially enjoyable to enter a room with absolutely nothing but that remark in the chat window yet.
WellDuh: It makes sense now%%%% WellDuh: You just don't know your own strength. :)

Music Hath Charms

dsaun: strange watching go and listening to 1812 overture
dsaun: it's the cannon sections - make you want to see a really big move :)

Subliminal Go

Lynx: In the middle of a game, casually lift up a sheet of paper with "YOU ARE LOSING" on it in bright pink...
Lynx: then pretend as if nothing is happening, and put it down a few minutes later.
Muttley: no, I think you should say I am going to the your bar group would will you die like a drink too?"

Time to Play Go

JMEdwards: rayen you up in the meantime?
rayen: w00t ?
rayen: gmt ?
JMEdwards: ..(a) match
rayen: oh sure

Rooting for Eternity

Move 51
tetris [-]: b seems to be in trouble at the top
Move 61
tetris [-]: eternity, the top! the top!
Move 62
tetris [-]: look at the top%%%% Move 64
tetris [-]: you have just built w a nice thick wall facing--THE TOP
Move 72
tetris [-]: he'll be ok :)
Move 86
JMEdwards [9k]: calm tet
Move 89
JMEdwards [9k]: lest I be forced to jump in with drunken go commentary
Move 97
JMEdwards [9k]: and who wants that?
Move 111
tetris [-]: me! me%%%% Move 112
tetris [-]: i want that%%%% Move 113
JMEdwards [9k]: heh
tetris [-]: i dare you%%%%

Don't Anger the Admins

Eternity (after a server crash): huh, what happened here? the server feels so... empty
sweety: a mass booting...
Lyceum: perhaps it was shut down and just came back up?
JMEdwards: and this is why we don't anger the admins

Just Don't Play Bad Moves

Cab: I can teach you how not to play and then you just do the opposite and you'll be a pro%%%% ketchup: i can do that too :)
ketchup: would it work though?
Cab: I don't know that... it's a tricky one :)
ketchup: just remember what not to play:
Nyanjilla: ah... but it takes talent to do it constructively

Dogs and Go

Solid30k: *+-//**--/*+/-------0*8+2
DrStraw: ?
Solid30k: opss sorry
Solid30k: dog foot print :P

Arcane Reference

birdmw: I imagine the Idiotbot to be suited like a magritte with bowler hat and perfect posture making inside jokes only other Idiotbots would get.
birdmw: What I would pay to understand those jokes


Edaen: what does the ~ mean?
DudeG: The ~ means that player takes black too frequently (2/3 of all games, I believe).
Uberdude: no, ~ is about weaker players, not black
Uberdude: [Quotes the relevant help page]
DudeG: Ok, so the help page does mention it as being because the person doesn't play enough weaker players. However, I still believe it is based on the ratio of color played as.
DudeG: I could perform an experiment to either prove or disprove this, but it'd be easier if we could just get info from an admin.
Uberdude: or not care =)

Sweet Dreams

dsaun: frankly, if i could go back to 19 and in college, i'd do it in a heartbeat, if i could retain what i know now
dsaun: hmmm, 20 might be better :)
tigger: dont think it works that way

A Great Confusion

oenava: Anybody wants to play a Game I started go about 1.5 months ago
netsangha: oenava, you would have better luck in the Beginners' Room (under Lessons in the room list) or the KGS Teaching Ladder (under Social)
Nyanjilla: uh... this is the Beginners' Room
oenava: wow thanks
netsangha: eek
JasonD: haha
Nyanjilla: hehehehehe
netsangha: haha
netsangha: damn
Nyanjilla: that happens often--don't worry about it
JasonD: !!!%%%% netsangha: gotta get some sleep one of these days

Applies to More than Go

Mef: Scud - Just like you can't make anything foolproof... cause fools are so ingenious


Warfreak2: in go, it is good when you benefit from your stones dying, so surely the poetic thing would be "it's good he is dead"
blitzkrieg: well i dunno, i wouldn't want to be sacrificed
blitzkrieg: even if it does mean i get thickness on the outside


porkdog [6k]: nice bomber
terrorist [4k]: damn too slow
Hybelos [3k]: The moves they are making are too slow or your kibitzing typing skills are too slow?
terrorist [4k]: Missed the 100 chat points you get for being the first to mention a b2
porkdog [6k]: :)
porkdog [6k]: sorry, my bad, you get the next one
terrorist [4k]: thanks :)
Hybelos [3k]: 6 kyu pwned a 4 kyu. There is a misbalance. You two must now fight to the death for dominance.
porkdog [6k]: nah, he lagged for sure
terrorist [4k]: yes... I was lagging

Lost in the Wilderness

impulse: it's very very quiet
katzu: hi
katzu: ^^
impulse: too quiet
tetris: i've got a bad feeling about this
impulse: I think we should split up. that way we can search faster
tetris: i wish i'd listened to you last time, you're right
impulse: nite aslan
tetris: we wouldn't have lost katzu
impulse: we lost katzu?
tetris: oh! there he is%%%% tetris: sorry, my mind was wandering
tetris: guess this heat is getting to me
impulse: *turns on the air conditioner for tetris*
tetris: *sighs blissfully*
tetris: so glad we brought that thing along
tetris: heavy as it was
kikos: lol
impulse: peddle faster tetris, the batteries are dying


[Name Withheld] [1k]: and B has good position
[Name Withheld] [1k]: cut at A is waiting
zinfandel [?]: what does that cut do?
[Name Withheld] [1k]: it merely kills the center
zinfandel [?]: it does? how?
zinfandel [?]: can't w just run?
[Name Withheld] [1k]: oh, yes--
[Name Withheld] [1k]: in that case W will run while B makes LOTS of territory!

On Flooding--Conclusion

wayward: okay, I'll stop flooding
tetris: me too
tetris: though i normally speak in four-sentence bursts for some reason
wayward: four sentences sounds about right
wayward: 1. thesis, 2. antithesis, 3. synthesis, 4. lol omg
tetris: haha
tetris: that's classic
wayward: :)
tetris: i'm gonna put it in Great Moments in KGS Chat
wayward: I'd be honored :)


lovely: No need to shout.

Don't Lose

valeri: losing is a violation of the TOS and will not be tolerated
Zangetsu1: lol really?
bipolar: then shouldn't we all be banned?
bipolar: we've all lost at least one game
Zangetsu1: or do you mean losing on purpose? lol

Excuses, Excuses

fadel: SDghfghdbgygyucgfnyufrhyqoytr7c36ftrq378gfy7rqwefgyqeifgyuiyr74374
fadel: sdfjkl
zetsuei: ummm
fadel: sry there was a fly on the keyboard
zetsuei: ......
zetsuei: ok
fadel: 869hnjn gfdpfvkldf;vjhfk; jhlk;jklbgkflmbld'kg0t-963
shikakun: another fly?
turco314: lol
fadel: darn stupid fly

Love and Go

Mef: (advice from one nerd to another)
hej: First I should learn how to say something more than just "hello" to her...
hej: ^^
Mef: That's the hardest part....I tend to just skip it
hej: huh?
hej: The problem is that I am shy
hej: but finally I am cured from my social phobia :)
Mef: I know, it's damn near impossible for me to just walk up and say hello to someone I don't know pretty well
hej: I don't even know her at all
hej: I have only talked to her once, today!
Mef: Exactly, that makes it harder
Mef: So instead I'll skip the hello, go straight to some other sort of comment, usually a bit of a joke
hej: but then she left me pretty quickly. I think she felt uncomfortable or something... She is very shy, even more than me I think...
Mef: I see, hard to say without knowing specifics
hej: but what should I say?
JMEdwards: hej, I'm going to tell you something that must remain secret, we'll just call it the shin tesuji
hej: I would like to ask her for her msn, there it would be easier to talk...
JMEdwards: first you need a really good friend to help you with this
hej: JME, ...ok
JMEdwards: here's what you tell the friend
JMEdwards: "if I haven't at least spoken 10 words to this girl by friday, I want you to kick me in the shins"
Warfreak2: heh
Warfreak2: sacrifice tactics
JMEdwards: well, sometimes you have to
hej: it's ok
Mef: hmm, I thought you were going to have the friend trip him when he was near her, and see if she helps him pick up his stuff.... instant conversation
JMEdwards: though sometimes the couple drinks joseki is sufficient

Misery Loves Company

TheClown: I lose all my games - what do i do wrong??? <:O(
TheClown: I am a loser
PurpleCrow: you have to prove how your strength is superior%%%% reprisal: i lose all my games too
reprisal: we'll have to play some time

Lost on KGS:

Qualx [16k]: Yay! 3 Spectators
greeenfyre [13k]: Spectators? We're looking for the bar.

Cold War

Anonymous: When TheCaptain plays sum, "Divide & Conquer" becomes "Duck & Cover"!

Fluffy Bunny Slippers

tonyp: this sequence is not wearing the fluffy bunny slippers b had originally hoped
Sanaelar: well tonyp the sequence is the result of black letting white do so many moves in the corner then trying to do a run
Zahlman: I think it *is* wearing fluffy bunny slippers... but that is not good when you try to run ;)

Teaching Is Harder than It Looks

Tsutsui: i wish i knew someone who could play go irl =/
Tsutsui: i tried to show my mom but she got mad and said i was cheating
perdedor: she thought you were moving the stones around or something?
Joslem: how do you cheat at go
Tsutsui: because i kept taking her stones off the board saying they were dead

How to Become an Admin

robopup: how do u become an admin?
AntiHikaru: You become an admin the same way you become a Texas ranger.
BigDoug: write to and explain why you'd like to be one -- tell us your age, where you live, how long you've played on KGS
GoSanta: do you have experience on online communities or forum administration? have you a degree on social science? do you speak more than 3 languages? :-)
craig: most of all... to become an admin, you can't want it too much
AntiHikaru: do you have a black belt in at least 3 martial arts?
BigDoug: most of the admins are former professional go players, but it's not required -- we do make exceptions
elefunt: BigDoug - stop kidding. We know you're still a pro
craig: an admin tell a joke! is that allowed?
Battousai: nope, and he's promptly going to be stripped of his adminship for having a sense of humor
ouigkmy: that must be a drag... to end your professional go career by babysitting teenagers on KGS....

More Confusion

Move 154
zc3k [3k]: no formuar to hiplayers?
Move 156
JamesJoyce [?]: huh?
Move 159
JamesJoyce [?]: what do you mean?
Move 160
Izzy [5k]: i would like to, why he didn't
Move 164
JamesJoyce [?]: why is everyone suddenly talking funny?
Move 165
reprisal [2d]: the helium is kicking in?
Move 166
JamesJoyce [?]: haha
Izzy [5k]: lag ;p

Go in a Nutshell

easter: If go shows anything it shows that there are no rules without exceptions, and that without common sense you won't get far, but with it you probably do even worse.

What Go Is Really About

sente: Yeah well, I charge you with being prima facie an uninspired fop... a sycophantic recreant%%%% BliSof: You speak lallations%%%% Odinn: please respect the TOS
sente: You thrive on perorations%%%% BliSof: If I had a lathi, I'd use it on you, you ibex%%%% EvilCat: If you won't respect the TOS at least respect the EULA
sente: Try to think up an insult that isn't pleonastic%%%% rockhard: this room is so noisy
BliSof: Has anyone told you that you are latidentate, sente?
sente: You're an inveterate pullulator
hhj76: black n3 group still not alive
Fugi: man this is a strange game...
sente: You're monodental and unilogical, and thoroughly unoriginal%%%% BliSof: You are a jemander, I would recommend you to the jerquer if I worked in customs.
kyuplayer1: not much to kill there
sente: Yeah, well, you're jejune and totally ungermane
Rookwood: ah, I think sente has sente at this point
BliSof: Wait a sec...
BliSof: did you just call me jejune?
sente: I did
BliSof: I don't even know what that means%%%%

Blather in Kib

[Name Withheld] [9k]: f9 is rather pointless don't you think??
Bonklers [1k]: 9k telling 5d that a move is pointless ... lol
Game Over
takemeba [7d]: thx
[Name Withheld] [9k]: yeah and the 5d was all about white was destroying black and that it was over too who was right about that i wonder??
SuperFreak [5d]: you didn't realize i was trolling, did you?
nickBlake [1k]: you dont get sarcasm detection until the dan range
Librarian [3k?]: 6k-9k are way too loud lately
eon [-]: they can't help it, it's the "why" phase.
PrettyWeak [4d]: SuperFreak hates me
PrettyWeak [4d]: Never lets me win :*(
nickBlake [1k]: You should probably stop being insane then.

Slight Confusion

nanomoyo: i noticed the site works much faster these days... due to changes there or on kgs server?
Nyanjilla: more hardware on the kgs server
nanomoyo: nice
Nyanjilla: that isn't why the hardware was boosted, though
drunkard: somebody stole the hardware?


slayde [14k]: my nickname is "the foolish dreams of a comeback at least once after making profound blunders again and again kid"

The Drink of Champions

SoulDevil: sake is something between wine and vodka, imo
jcary: its rice with magic in it
miles: well, it's between wine and vodka in *strength*
jcary: so like 5 kyu
miles: 5k--right! put the go rank on the menu in bars. You could rate drugs that way too, actually
SoulDevil: then what's 9d?
miles: 151-proof mexican rum
jcary: 9 pro = lab alcohol
mpowers: there was a time when ether fumes were used to make you drunk
miles: well, not exactly drunk--make you talk gibberish
mpowers: nowadays, used in chemistry and starting engines in cold weather :P
miles: how do you apply it to the engine?
jcary: with a funnel
miles: which goes where?
jcary: or a brush
jcary: lol
miles: are you making this up? :)
jcary: yes your honor
miles: hee, i'm gonna buddy you for that

Who Won the Review?

tetris [-]: may i ask who won and by how much?
Meepy [-]: me by 12
Ability [1k]: but he got lucky...
tetris [-]: he did? i thought he suddenly shot up a few ranks halfway through the game :)
Ability [1k]: yah
tetris [-]: i also thought M17 was dead, till it got out
Meepy [-]: it was--no eyes for meepy :(
tetris [-]: but you're still good, meepster
tetris [-]: any idea what your rank is?
Ability [1k]: yah, lots of fighting spirit
Meepy [-]: 2k
tetris [-]: then how did you get in so much trouble? :)
Meepy [-]: trouble is my middle name
Ability [1k]: then baka must be mine
tetris [-]: baka?
Ability [1k]: idiot

More Blather in Kib

Ubiquity [-]: i hope white dies
every0day [1k]: that's mean
Ubiquity [-]: i'm very mean
JustForFun [-]: I think he means the stones, not the person :)
mud [1k]: he probably meant the person

How to Succeed

hawkinmist: it looks like i'm 7k, but I'm really only 15k
Xoc: how did you get that overrated?
spinach: reverse sandbagging
spinach: common technique on kgs
AgeingYout: reverse sandbagging??
pasky: you play better than you can
pasky: simple
AgeingYout: your making my head hurt
UTDEspy: I'm hoooome%%%% spinach: hi espy%%%% UTDEspy: *Chews on spinach*
spinach: *chews on espy*
spinach: that's how hawk jumped to 7d--just played stronger than he was

OneWeirdDude: Reminds me of the guy who knew he had a massive inferiority complex: he knew he was better than he thought he was.

A New Proverb

dsaun [1d?]: b had to connect
ketchup [-]: i was thinking about it but never did
ketchup [-]: yay for bad decisions%%%% dsaun [1d?]: connecting is better than thinking of connecting :)

Let's Hear It for Kyus!

kuuli: you can observe some higher dan playing and compare it to 19k playing... i'm sure you can find some differences
moonrise: what are you guys talking about? whether stronger players are stronger than weaker players?
snowman: no way
snowman: weaker players are much more creative than the stronger players who only play by the book
moonrise: i'd like the name of that book, it might do me some good
glorioski: snow, pros must bore you to death
doodler247: no matter how you look at it, both strengths give a good show
glorioski: you mean all three of them?

Dept. of Small Details

tetris [-]: we need a subset of the buddy list for people we *really* like
Mef [-]: the buddier list?

Integrity, or Character Strength

LemonEyes: question about go: can you make it to 9d without the faintest shred of moral or spiritual depth? are the two independent or what?
Phanto: You joking?
Phanto: Of course they are independent.
TheCaptain: i'd like to believe they are not independent
TheCaptain: but then when I was young, I used to imagine that great physical beauty went hand in hand with spiritual depth
LemonEyes: well, there is such a thing called integrity, or character strength, or whatever. There is an ability in some to see many depths to life, to empathize, to lead. To be contagious, influential.
TheCaptain: sadly it wasn't long before I was disabused of that idea

More Go History

winInMFC: hmm, isn't igs the world's oldest go server? at least 30 yrs?
Mori: 30 years lol
winInMFC: hmm... maybe 50 years...
winInMFC: or 100 years
winInMFC: i saw 1930 pic in the server's homepage
dat: igs actually predates wooden-board go

The Dimensionality of Consciousness

Mef: once reprisal gets to 3d he can use a real board
reprisal: heh
Mef: currently as 2d, he can only deal with the flat surface
reprisal: too true
Mef: (it was awful when he was 1d... and could only make out the lines...)
reprisal: i'm extremely sensitive to my environment too, i read worse on another computer screen
reprisal: any color calibration will throw me off, same with ambient noise
wbendick: have you considered drugs?

[Ed: Have you considered that he hasn't? :-D]

Mating Dance

tetris: Where is the room?
tetris: can't find it under social or lessons
SoulDevil: tsk tsk tsk
SoulDevil: tetris tetris tetris
SoulDevil: i just... i'm... i have no words to describe my disappointment
VincentMA: It is under clubs tet
tetris: hey, i don't know everything, souldevil, ok? ^^
tetris: almost...
SoulDevil: :O
SoulDevil: you don't?%%%% tetris: almost%%%% SoulDevil: *stares at tet with a frozen expression of shock*
tetris: *does a coochie dance for SoulDevil*
SoulDevil: you just broke the foundation of everything i ever believed in
SoulDevil: !!%%%% tetris: i've barely started
SoulDevil: how am i supposed to continue living now?
tetris: i am your reason for living! just pay attention to me and you'll be fine
SoulDevil: :|
SoulDevil: that's what i was doing...
SoulDevil: but now you say you don't know everything...
SoulDevil: :O

Time Rangers, Away!

idigo: go seigen is a genius, but not competitive these days
wossname: you will destroy our timeline if you do this
wossname: you must take him after he has played his important games
Mef: and letting him watch some modern pro games would only be fair... since they have had all his games to study
idigo: then let's fire up the inductor coils
Mef: *flips switch*
idigo: *cool pose*
Mef: *turns important-looking dial*
wossname: *hole tears in universe*
idigo: *god shakes fist*
idigo: time rangers, away%%%% Mef: *pulls Jowa through and watches God start mending hole*

Directly from the Master

shygost: excuse me??
shygost: i think he did drugs on this move
shygost: LSD I think

Er, Yeah, It's Free

Sai4321: so i dont need to pay to be here?
BigDoug: Sai, how many times would you like to hear the same answer?
Reepicheep: you dont need to pay to be here
Sai4321: if u join tourneys do u have to pay?
BigDoug: yes -- if they are KGS Plus tournaments
Cyclone00: you only pay if you (a) buy games from higher dans or (b) join kgs+
Sai4321: how do u join?
Sai4321: i dont wanna get kgs+
Sai4321: how do u know ur in kgs+
Cyclone00: look up -> KGS Plus on menu
Kajiyoushn: i see a ceiling when i look up
Kajiyoushn: eggshell white i think
Sai4321: So i dont have kgs+ YES!!!!!!!%%%% Sai4321: im freeeeeeee

Pros Improve!

mschlat [8k]: ah
Uberdude3 [2k]: (so pros agree with you)
elciego [-]: good pros agree with shy
GottaGo [7k]: The pros must be improving

When Nothing Works

bouncyfun: hmm
bouncyfun: q9 maybe?
orko [3k]: suggesting a move for black here is like suggesting which stroke to use while swimming in a shark tank
orko [3k]: the correct answer is what the heck are you doing in a shark tank

Requiem for a Legend

Ubiquity: what was that game, josh?
kadoban: oh, a shusaku game
Ubiquity: man, you and your shusaku games
Ubiquity: didn't you know? the man is dead
kadoban: why wasn't i informed?
Ubiquity: he was eaten by a giant turnip
kadoban: wow, heck of a way to go
josh: dunno, i can think of worse
kadoban: yes, but it's hard to think of a stranger way to go
josh: if the turnip is big enough, he might go in one bite--quick and relatively painless
josh: bunch of ants, now, that'd take a long time
josh: wait, ants are not strange
josh: ok, bunch of very very tiny turnips
kadoban: that works, i suppose

No Comment Dept.

student [?]: yes n2 is simple
Lyonweiqi [3p]: n2 was losing move

Watch Your Invocations!

DanielFox: Oh dark master Cthulhu the all-devouring, please let there be a fondle game today
Javaness: please do not summon Cthulhu in the EGR

Get Strong at Being Weak

Inachan: handicap go makes me so depressed
Inachan: you have to play all these stupid crazy moves... and you feel retarded... and you only end up winning because of mistakes -_-
Inachan: how do you play good handi go!?
gideonfell: By making clever mistakes

Slight Confusion III

buzzsaw: i am using a tablet so i don't make mistakes
[Name Withheld]: drugs are bad for you
buzzsaw: Tablet PC
buzzsaw: with a pen
buzzsaw: great for recording games


AWA: A black hole is the result of the complete inward collapse of a star. This collapse causes the gravitational force of the black hole, which is essentially a rent in space, to have enough gravitational pull such that nothing can escape its grip. Now consider that there is something known as an event horizon, the edge of the black hole. The theory goes that once something crosses the event horizon, it can never be retrieved. Once inside the black hole, matter would be broken down into its bare basics, namely, protons, neutrons, and electrons. This broken-down matter would then be compacted into an infinitely small, infinitely dense ball, which sits at the very core of the black hole.
AWA: Nobody knows what happens to such a ball. Nobody knows what it is designed to do. Nobody knows how it functions. I propose two things: Firstly, that the infinitely dense ball is the source of the back hole's gravity; secondly, that the black hole's mass is actually equal to that that is consumed by it, plus the original mass of the star that collapsed to form it.
(Someone): Dude ur gonna get banned
AWA: A black hole that is formed by the collapse of a star is formed by the implosion of the mass of the star. Eventually, the mass must pass a certain point in time that it actually dents space, and creates a tunnel where there theoretically shouldn't be one. I would like to ask you to wrap you mind around the following concept: Imagine you are in deep space, and you come to a black hole. From the front everything looks exactly as you imagined it: an inward circular slope reaching down to an invisible point. Now, I would ask you to float around to the "back" of the black hole. What would you see?
(Someone else): lol
AWA: Since a black hole theoretically is infinitely deep, you would expect to see an infinite tunnel through space behind the event horizon. Yet, there is not. Otherwise, such a tunnel would exert a gravitational force so strong that everything in its immediate vicinity, and likely further, would be consumed. So obviously there is no infinite "tunnel". However, in every picture, graph, and mathematical formula explaining black holes, there is obviously a central hole, like those tables in museums that you can roll a quarter into, spiraling ever further down. Where is this hole? Where does it go to? If it is indeed infinite, then where is the hypothetical ball of infinite mass and density at the end?
AWA: One final point. I would like you construct a situation in which a black hole enters the gravitational field of another black hole. Technically speaking, since they both exert a force over each other, they would cancel out, and endlessly circle the other. However, if at any point, they touch, what would happen? Would a deletion of matter occur, as in the hypothetical anti-matter theory? Would the two black holes cancel each other out, winking out of existence? Would one black hole consume the other?
AWA: If so, how would the consumed black hole affect the interior of the consuming black hole? Would one's infinite tunnel interfere with the other's?
(Someone still else): O...k...

When a Butterfly Flaps Its Wings...

MtM6556: Question if I win against someone of my rank shouldn't my rank go up? so long as it was a ranked game?
apoca: yes
Virag0: it goes up a few decimal points each win
MtM6556: there are decimals?
Nighteyes: the more games you win the fewer decimal points it goes up
yoyoma: yes but they're secret :)
MtM6556: wow, learn something new everyday
Virag0: yes. but they only show on the graph ( sort of)
Hu: No, MtM6556, not necessarily. Rank is an integer floor function of rating which is a Real number (think decimal number).
Nyanjilla: not secret---look in the help files
Nyanjilla: specifically this: [ext]
yoyoma: That page is only a milestone on the long journey of understanding the kgs ratings. Butterflies in Brasil can change your rating. :D

Rock Steady

geology9 [-]: Maple, let us try 2 handis
Maple [6d]: haha
geology9 [-]: geo do not like to play low level
Maple [6d]: last one 2 handi you lost 125.5
geology9 [-]: that is another story
Maple [6d]: oh, yeah?
Maple [6d]: then what is THE story?
geology9 [-]: resign or call geo teacher, then geo may give you another lesson
(five minutes pass)
geology9 [-]: always remember that geo is the killer
Maple [7d]: ok

Law Enforcement in the EGR

aluseusGOD: I Feel Bad%%%% katt: are u sick?%%%% aussiemate: yep, that one <pointing>
aluseusGOD: I knew that I would now%%%% aluseusGOD: I feel bad%%%% stumped: hey, stop pointing that around, you might kill someone
aussiemate: oops, sorry
aussiemate: (just killed someone)
RoyRogers: *Dies*
Javaness: Please do not kill people in the EGR


Ian2 [?]: just to make it clear, draw a line from D6 to N14. That's all mine now.
Ubiquity [?]: oh, right
Ubiquity [?]: i'll stay out of your area then

I Am Where I Live

siak: anyone know where Luc has been lately?
Hu: France
siak: o.o
siak: wait...
siak: doesn't he live there?
Hu: Indeed.
siak: lol
siak: I mean I haven't seen him on in awhile


qwerty123: DOWN WITH RUNESCAPE DOWN WITH RUNESCAPE!%%% no0bIet: lol selling rune 2h
Piemonger: selling potions of instant ko!%%% qwerty123: no... u should sell instant pie%%% RhinoHorns: hey is there a moderator in here?
Piemonger: or, for black, elixir of -2 komi
qwerty123: lol
qwerty123: what about HC??
Tama2k: 1million for instant 2 eyes sword
qwerty123: 20 million for a piece of crap
Piemonger: i'll take 2
qwerty123: ok 40 million please
Piemonger: ok *pay*
qwerty123: now go fight goblins and kill chickens or whatever pointless quest u wanna do
robopup: XD

Common Courtesy

thedisman: I guess I just resign if I get behind by as much as 100

Humoring Daybreak

spinach: modern pro games are filled with explosive fights
spinach: older games are basically wussier
daybreak: i wonder why josh liked the old one i showed
daybreak: maybe he was just being nice
spinach: what do you mean?
daybreak: he said it was an interesting game, but on the other hand he was watching South Park throughout the demo :)
daybreak: i was thinking if it had really interested him he would have watched it

How Dans Became Dans

Yubikiri [3d]: D17 is an asking move i have never used once.
Ability [1k]: good for you
Yubikiri [3d]: thanks. can i get my cookie now?
McNublet: [31k]: pop
Yubikiri [3d]: i like to pop bubbles. it's what got me to 3d.
sente [3d]: texturized vegetable protein is what got ME to 3d
Javaness [1d]: climbing trees got me to shodan
Yubikiri [3d]: the secrets to getting strong, all kyu players take heed%%%%

Dating on KGS

jensu: *sigh.... man... i hate women..... so hard to understand
cadillac: poor you
NannyOgg: better stay far away from them%%%% jensu: i know...
Nyanjilla: jensu----this isn't a help-me-with-my-date site

The Willing Suspension of Disbelief

Hu: Tenant was great in Casanova.
TeddyBear: Casanova was pretty good
TeddyBear: Though it was funny believing that Tenant grew a foot in old age to become Peter O'Toole

Enlightened by Eternity

Game Over
SeaMonster [1d]: Thanks
mm3 [3d]: cu
Eternity [7k]: huh?
lifeline [8k]: huh?
Eternity [7k]: already?
lifeline [8k]: already?
SeaMonster [1d]: Bad opening
lifeline [8k]: you were fine
lifeline [8k]: you have nice top moyo, you're ok on the right, you have little corner in lower left
lifeline [8k]: what has he got that's so great?
SeaMonster [1d]: The top
Eternity [7k]: yeah, sea is white...
lifeline [8k]: oh
lifeline [8k]: then good idea to quit hehe

Everyone Which Thinks I'm Awesome

HikaruShin: Hi everyone which thinks i'm awesome cool
liza: hikaru! why dont you say hi to me? =( *sniffles*

How to Meet Pros

Shiketsu: can anyone tell me some websites where i can meet with top pros?
Shiketsu: thanks

Cheering Up GreenVenus

amadis: you can inflate your rank against bots if you figure out their weaknesses
GreenVenus: you can?
GreenVenus: i can't, and i play them all the time--my best bot-playing accts are one rank under me
GreenVenus: have you done that, amadis? am i missing something?
amadis: i guess so
GreenVenus: i try hard
GreenVenus: dunno why all my friends do better with them than i do
sente: just think of it this way
sente: your friends probably think more like machines

All in Good Time

dsaun [1k]: ok, proverb says: "urgent moves before big moves"
Warfreak2 [1k]: and also, big moves before small moves
dsaun [1k]: thaaaanks Wf :)
Warfreak2 [1k]: ;-P
dsaun [1k]: same thing as shygost's list
dsaun [1k]: am i ok? is he ok? what's big?
dsaun [1k]: so...
HamatoYosh [2k]: small move before pass

How Far Back?

Onsakamaru: weird, i just won a game and my rank went up, then a few minutes later it goes back down and haven't played another game
ElZorro: system reviewed your game
Joorin: onsakamaru: someone you've played in the past got their rank changed, it will affect you too.
Onsakamaru: joorin, how far in the past does it look?
Joorin: onsakamaru: 180 days i think.
ElZorro: back to 7 lifes

About Time

LadyTengen: i was going to jump out of a cake in a red bathing suit to cheer shy up after his accident
LadyTengen: he liked the idea
LadyTengen: but we settled on a fruit basket
Uvas: well, it's still after his accident...
LadyTengen: that is very true
LadyTengen: will be for some time, too


plasma: pssst who plays pokemon?
plasma: anyone?
plasma: plz i need help
impulse: yes, you do
impulse: start by not playing pokemon
plasma: lmao
impulse: instead play me in my rengo game%%%% tetris: there is no impulse rengo game
plasma: tell me i need help lol
tetris: you need help
plasma: -.-
tetris: nice to meet you hehe
plasma: haha hi

By George, He's Got It!

kadoban [1k]: wonder if it's possible for me to win without actually having any points... something tells me that's bad


planar: Star Trek is not very good except for the Borg idea, and of course Seven of Nine.
BorgDrone: 7?9 yummi
BorgDrone: who wants to be assimilated?
lamassery: I prefer Six of One.
BorgDrone: it's free of charge
BorgDrone: and deductible from taxes
Javaness: Assimilation is not permitted in the EGR
BorgDrone: lol
BorgDrone: * runs
planar: ROTFL
GrandYan: Best warning ever :)

The Best Moves to Start and End a Game

ualx: i genuinely DO open on tengen
Yubikiri: tengen sucks. It's all about K11.
moooo: Pshhh
moooo: Best opening is A1
Yubikiri: A1 is a forbidden move.
barklee: ?
kiusao: Best opening move is take a handful of stones and throw them at your opponent.
Qualx: best yose move when you're like 300 moku down is to pick the goban up and throw it against the wall, prior to uppercutting your opponent.
Yubikiri: kiusao: not if your opponent is Chuck Norris. Then your "opening" will be recorded as the worst mistake ever made in history.
Qualx: that one's lethal
kiusao: Chuck Norris can kill groups with two eyes
moooo: What about the kick in the groin under the table tesuji?
Yubikiri: (in sente).

The Ultimate Bot

MysticoN: is mogo the bot that collects data and becomes stronger?
rcarn: you're thinking of the Terminator.

On Sticking to the Rules

gryn: EXTERMINATE%%%% cynewulf: ELIMINATE!
QuickStudy: ERADICATE!
yangster [helpfully]: VANQUISH!
cynewulf: no no no has to start with e and end with -ate
yangster: that's pretty strict
waykay: e*ate
waykay: done now.
yangster: EXTIRPATE!
cynewulf: this is serious business
yangster: is that one ok?
cynewulf: yep
yangster: :)
yangster: EXCORIATE%%%% yangster: maybe you should require 4 syllables too
yangster: EVISCERATE%%%% cynewulf: mm yeah, the meter should match
QuickStudy: I think I've hit a wall
yangster: me too... does it have to mean destroy in some way?
cynewulf: yeah, something related
yangster: ENERVATE isn't cruel enough
yangster: also too short
yangster: ELABORATE is just all wrong for this
yangster: there are a lot of ways to mess it up
yangster: ENUMERATE.... couldn't we have different meanings?
cynewulf: hehe
QuickStudy: ELIMIDATE!
yangster: haha
yangster: INTIMIDATE! I DON'T CARE ANY MORE%%%% yangster: sorry

It's a Classic

hemb: it's like my game came from a standard joseki book under the "Wrong" section :)

Words of Wisdom

cynewulf: 10k should at least know "don't do that"
tetris: my favorite proverb is "don't do things that don't work"
cynewulf: lots of people forget that one

Beating a Dead Horse

spinach: i think suicide is illegal in the u.s.
spinach: even attempted suicide--weird
mafutrct: really?
ImNoSensei: they will send your corpse to jail
ImNoSensei: you have been warned
spinach: indeed
mafutrct: XD
ImNoSensei: you will actually literally rot in a prison cell lol
spinach: heh... poor cellmates
mafutrct: i guess death sentence would be an appropriate punishment

Structure of the Family 101

[Name Withheld]: who's your daddy%%%% BadMove: the mailman
[Name Withheld]: free milk for your whole life, not bad:P
BadMove: huh?

Danger, Surrealist Mind at Work

[Reviewer, Name Withheld]: So note that all these moves fail to reduce white's huge territory except one--the 3-3 invasion at c17. If black plays there, he wins the game. :)
heinz57: but what if w takes the 2-4 point? b16?
[Reviewer]: There are three things you must never do in go--this is one of them. Another is running with the knight's move...
heinz57: just put a stone at c17 and i'll try to kill it, ok?
[Reviewer]: Well, it gets hairy. Let's move on.
heinz57: a hairy go stone--just what i always wanted

How to Deal With Unfinished Games and Other Problems

Sai1988: what should i do if my opponent do not want to click "done" button after the game???
sigue: have a beer
sigue: it's almost never a bad idea to have a beer

Where Self-Image Is All

josh: nighteyes is a bot i wrote, steve. he's pretty advanced for a bot.
Nighteyes: I am not a bot... such a low term. I prefer to think of myself as an AI.

Perfection II

XY0908: Zen, have you studied Zen?
Zensuround: no, whats zen?
XY0908: Good answer.

No Choice

wolchengi: i have had 2 girls walk away from me because of my go
mendelbox: man has to do what a man has to do
wolchengi: one of the girls was older and had good reason to
BAZI: play go?
wolchengi: the other was stupid enough to ask, "if you had to choose between baduk and me... which would you choose?"

An Oasis of Decency

kadoban: kgs people sure are weird
seabright: naturally, but not in this room, thank god
kadoban: yes, we're all normal well-adjusted people...
kadoban: obviously
seabright: obviously
kadoban: except Vash, he's messed up
seabright: especially Vash!
seabright: nobody's less messed up than Vash
seabright: even in this room
kadoban: haha
Vash3G: wait, what's going on?
kadoban: seabright seems to think you're normal
Vash3G: is she on the crack?
Vash3G: cause it will do that
kadoban: apparently

A Fine Old Name

semicolon: boo boo off the stage boo
miles: wowow a nick of semicolon!!!!!
miles: incredible!
semicolon: huh?
miles: you have an awesome nick... i was gonna do a punctuation mark for myself, but you have the greatest one
semicolon: oh
semicolon: i thought maybe you were one of my adoring fans
semicolon: alas...
miles: i am!
miles: oh, not of your play, sorry
miles: but that will come, don't worry

Yep, Great Move

Move 57
Allanon [7k]: I propose we outlaw self-atari. that way i can say R5 looks good and not have the desire to hurt myself for my stupidity
tetris [-]: allanon, i bet you had a moment when you did think r5 looked good
Move 59
Allanon [7k]: tetris, I did. that's why I want to outlaw self-atari so I can stop making myself feel stupid
tetris [-]: you might still think of it even if it was outlawed
tetris [-]: there are cures for stupidity, but legislation isn't one of them :)
Allanon [7k]: tetris, it's legislation or nothing for me :p

No Comment Dept.

Hikaru112 [14k]: man some guy just started saying he wont teach me just because i havent taught a weaker player
Hikaru112 [14k]: !
takami [1d]: you poor fellow

She Thinks?!

info: oh, you're homeschooled--no finals, right?
keshigomu: ina ur home schooled?
info: and that's what made her great%%%% Inachan: i'm not great :(
info: you're great :)
info: you said homeschooling made you think for yourself :)
keshigomu: oro alright bye
cheesecake: Thinking? Who does that anymore?
info: see what i mean?

Spinach Blows the Entire Upper Left

Move 78
spinach: oh, espy, you are here to see my shame :)
UTDEspy: it's what I live for. ;P

A Word to the Wise

brobb355: well, there is a lot to the game of Go.
s: huh?

A Literary Diversion

Proto83: anybody know anything about dickens themes in his books
DanielFox: is exhausting longwindedness a theme
Proto83: lol


saishoku: what are crowns by ppls names
hepatitis: means they play chess
pasky: evil them
hepatitis: aye. traitors

Lies, Lies Forever

moonrise: btw, n0body, if this guy is annoying you, you can always censor him for a little while
moonrise: you don't have to listen to "LIES LIES" forever hehe
Inachan: haha
n0body: haha
Inachan: sounds like a good song...
Inachan: "lies, lies forever"
Inachan: why do you lie to me%%%% moonrise: you promised you would never
Inachan: lie, lie to me
moonrise: but you were lyin'
Inachan: how, how could you lie to me
moonrise: and i was cryin'
Inachan: all i did was try to comfort you
moonrise: i know you didn't mean to...
Inachan: but still
moonrise: there's a hole now in my heart that i can't fill
n0body: aw
Inachan: Shut up till the end of the song
Inachan: with just one lie, you could rip me apart
moonrise: yes, you broke, broke my heart
Inachan: i'm still cryin', and my hearts still bleedin'
moonrise: and i know it's you i'm needin'
moonrise: but the lies come flying back into my mind
moonrise: i believed that you were kind
moonrise: but you lied
Inachan: and so i died
moonrise: i tried and tried
moonrise: to understand
Inachan: how you could lie, lie to me
moonrise: i thought if i could hold your hand
moonrise: i could explain the pain
inachan: and make the lies all go away
moonrise: but baby that will be the day
moonrise: i don't believe a word you say
Inachan: and i'll never let you lie to me again
moonrise: no matter how you cry, i know you'll always lie
moonrise: because that's you, that's you
moonrise: i don't like it but it's true
Inachan: so say goodbye, goodbye
Inachan: i turn my back on your lies and you
moonrise: i never want to hear another lie
moonrise: i think we're doing great
Inachan: yeah%%%% Inachan: can you catch it all?
moonrise: wait let me see--wow, it hasn't scrolled off yet
Inachan: i got it%%%%

Mud Sets Tet Straight

[Name Withheld]: tetris wud u mind teching me?
mud: lesson 1: wud is not a word
tetris: oh, mud, you and your pesky literacy
[Name Withheld]: lol sorry, this keyboard is slightly different to normal
tetris: teching is also not a word, if you want to be picky about it :)
mud: well, those are for the advanced lessons tetris :)
tetris: i see, longer words come later on--makes sense

A Word to the Wise II

wicket: that's how these blitz players win their games :)
ziman: time is a crucial factor though
wicket: the key is to be losing in the middle game, then they can't rip you off

PM Out of Nowhere

(Nicks changed to protect the innocent)

[Name Withheld]: hey
[Name Withheld]: I just owned a 2d It was so funny XP
s: huh? i don't even know you%%%% [Name Withheld]: waa
[Name Withheld]: but you're "s"
s: yes, but i've never even talked to you before
[Name Withheld]: u might know me in my past accounts
s: like what?
[Name Withheld]: mm
s: nope
[Name Withheld]: airegin
s: nope
[Name Withheld]: brother
s: nope
[Name Withheld]: awesome66
s: nope
[Name Withheld]: [gives five more names]
s: nope, nope, nope, nope, nope
s: though mm is a good one :)
[Name Withheld]: s
s: s??
[Name Withheld]: yeah
[Name Withheld]: that was my old account
s: you had s???
[Name Withheld]: yeah
s: a fellow s-owner%%%% [Name Withheld]: XD
s: ok i have to go, thx for all the nicks :)
[Name Withheld]: don't tell anyone
s: ok

Call the ASPCA! This Is Serious!

Inachan: i can't believe you scanned your cat O.o
impulse: why not? I scanned a bunch of other junk too
Inachan: cats aren't junk
impulse: er, good point

Nothing Wrong with That

XY0908: you are too vicious
GreenVenus: is that bad?
XY0908: no
XY0908: it's cute

Nice When Players Are Friendly

Move 42
Allrighto [4d]: do u ever worry about living?
TheCaptain [4d]: no
TheCaptain [4d]: but I do worry about dying
Move 47
Allrighto [4d]: yeah u better start worrying then=)

Up, Up, and Away!

Warfreak2: i have a flight in 12 hours
Warfreak2: to the land of shape and tesuji
mud: i figured the land of shape and tesuji would be japan...
Warfreak2: to steal all their good moves and bring them back to england
Warfreak2: once i'm done their pros will be playing out ladders because all the good moves will be gone
Warfreak2: mud, china invented go. japan just popularised it
Croikle: won't you have to pay extra to ship all those moves back on the plane?
Warfreak2: croikle, it will be worth it
Warfreak2: plus there is bulk discount
Croikle: destroy go in an entire country for your own profit
Warfreak2: so when i'm 4 dan, will all of you watch my games like everyone watches [Name Withheld]? :)
mud: not unless you're a complete psycho like [Name Withheld]
Warfreak2: i can do that
mud: sweet, we have a deal then

On Ubiquitousness

estragon: hmm
estragon: there are 621 users and 662 rooms
Meepy: Ubiquity is in most of them ^^
Mefanol: Many users are in more than 1 room?
estragon: well yes
estragon: i just find it amusing
Mefanol: indeed
sheeryjay: Ubiquity can't be in most of them, then he would have 100+ room tabs
moloch: how else would he be ubiquitous?

Just Put It Behind You

nogotalent: it's a good thing i have a new computer almost ready to go, because the old one died during the night
Meepy: poor thing
Meepy: that's the best way to go, though, during your sleep

A Higher Realm

Astrony [5k]: MXHero plays 3D go?
Move 67
word [6k]: three dimensions, yeah--you start with tengen and work your way down
Astrony [5k]: isn't that harder than 2D go?
Move 68
MXHero [3d]: yes, it's very hard, we have to levitate the stones in the air
Move 69
word [6k]: keep them spinning, too
Move 70
dang [5k]: that's advanced
Astrony [5k]: spinning like quarks?
Move 71
word [6k]: kind of, yes
MXHero [3d]: yeah, well, very large quarks

Makes Perfect Sense

ok: i hear that pros are serious about every game they play
takami: except the ones against amateurs

'Twas Ever Thus

springtime: do they still teach little geeks to print "hello, world!" to the screen?
gilgamesh: yep, on the first day of kindergarten

Higher Education

KaliYuga [8k]: i'm looking for a book that will help me with my opening, anybody know one?
tetris [-]: try otake--Opening Theory Made Easy
tetris [-]: it's easy to read and it's in 20 parts, each headed with a good proverb
GW [4d]: I don't want simple to understand :P
GW [4d]: I like the complicated stuff
tetris [-]: well, i wouldn't rule out a book just because i could understand it


saiclone: I like to review SGF games much like I watch adult films
saiclone: I don't understand either
saiclone: but I'm kinda in awe

Could This Be About the New Harry Potter Book?

northcoast: spoiler alert: Snape has Harry's baby
herpoid: HERPOID
imanoob: STONG
Envy: north coast, negative
northcoast: aw it seemed like such a sure thing
cshell: wow everywhere i go tonight people are talking nonsense
cshell: or else i no longer understand english, wonder which it is
InsanePat: both, probably
cshell: ah thank you
cshell: sounds reasonable

On Popularity

KawaiiNeko [tells someone who posted a ranked game]: no rated games in KTL plz make it free or move it to another room~
nugatory: psst, rated games and KTL don't mix
Nyanjilla: tell him in the game offer, not here
nugatory: eh, some people don't read things in the game offer
KawaiiNeko: i'll pm him~
nogotalent: i pm'd him
Nyanjilla: hehehehehe... he must've been inundated with "ping"s
nogotalent: he didn't answer
KawaiiNeko: he answered to me~
KawaiiNeko: gosh im so popular :p~
nogotalent: he answered me too
nogotalent: said he was sorry
KawaiiNeko: the one time that i felt special~~~~
nogotalent: haha
nogotalent: ok i made it up, he never said a word :)

The Eternal Quest

UTDEspy: Anyone 6-16k want a teaching game?
firstaid: 3k is offering review or a teaching game :)
wossname: 1d looking for love. enjoys romantic candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach
yardbo: after you take out the garbage, mister%%%%

Perfectly Logical

Astone: Have not seen you in a while!
LunaSlave: yeah i've not been around
Astone: makes sense :)

Perfectly Logical II

Quietp [17k]: if he's called TheOne, why does he have TWO accounts?

Cultural Notes from All Over

SunWuKong: has anyone seen the film Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death?
Muttley: I would never admit to watching a Russ Meyer film

Anywhere But Here

fateless: is there enough usgo today O.o
Fspaladez: No, I demand more%%%% Daijoubu: I demand a slice of chess
Fspaladez: I demand good jokes
aussiemate: not here
aussiemate: try the teaching ladder

A Tribute to the Master

silentsnow: reality is what you do with this world :)
Warfreak2: yes, and soon a norwegian hacker will work out how to live your life exactly the way you want to
DudeG: those Norwegian hackers are true Zen masters.
Warfreak2: there's only one norwegian hacker, he just does a whole country's worth of hacking by himself
DudeG: He is Legion.
Avon: and he goes by the name Sven
Warfreak2: Jon
Avon: Sven Jon Svenson
silentsnow: would he be so kind to change some rankings here?

No Politics in EGR

palicastro: you live in berkeley?
palicastro: i heard berkeley is going to the dogs
tetris: the city or the school or both?
palicastro: city
palicastro: crime
palicastro: poverty
tetris: depends on the area
esrig: well, dogs are big in Berkeley, they're going to get the vote next (:->)
tetris: we prefer to call them canine americans

When Worlds Collide

gilgamesh: I had a funny exchange at the go club this wednesday
odf: tell me tell me
gilgamesh: I was talking about a game we were playing
odf: and?
gilgamesh: and I can't remember what exact word I used, but my opponent said, "I don't use words like that." I said, "Oh, right, I suppose you're studying math?" "Physics." "Ah, I'm more into languages and language itself."
gilgamesh: "I knew there was something wrong with you!"

We Teach More than Go Here

EmTom: so... UTD... would you play a game?
YeknomGib: Only if you can guess what UTD stands for.
EmTom: yeknom i wasnt asking you... sorry
YeknomGib: No one ever asks me. :(
unknowable: what do you want to be asked?
unknowable: ok... yeknom! what is the population of north and south dakota combined?
EmTom: who cares?
unknowable: not bad
YeknomGib: I think EmTom's answer was pretty good.
EmTom: to be honest, im not sure where dakota is (except that its part of the USA)
unknowable: well, do you have a general idea of where it is?
EmTom: not really no
unknowable: ok, north and south dakota are two different states, one on top of the other...
ericthblue: 1,397,044 at the 2000 census :)

A Simple Outpatient Procedure Will Do It

Akashe: how do I develop multiple personalities?
MusicStone: whack your head constantly?
Akashe: that will get rid of the one personality I do have

When Admin and Plain Old User Agree

[Name Withheld]: i vote for the reunification of religion and state
Epiphany: no discussion of politics or religion here, [Name Withheld].
WhatYouEgg: especially bad politics AND religion
Epiphany: Exactly.

Never Say Never

Sibahi: i guess i will never be Shusaku
elefunt: it would be very tough to become someone who is dead

On Punishment

quante0: may i come back from the corner?
Javaness: have you learnt your lesson?
Evana: learned*
maladroit: learnt is fine too Evana
quante0: what did i do wrong?
Javaness: Evana: go and stand in the corner, there's nothing worse than an incorrect pedant
maladroit: Look, I'm in this corner. Get out.
Evana: ooo, I love corners
maladroit: Go to the other one then.

On thickness

A: White's thickness goes to waste B: My thickness goes to my waist too :-)

Move 3
[Kibitzer]: white ahead?

Dark Corners of the KTL Room

gg375: im 15k, willing to teach someone lower
gg375: or be taught
gg375: anyone there???
HateToWin: im here,but im hiding
gg375: hiding?
gg375: i think u just blew your cover
HateToWin: yes,it is very scary in here so i have to hide *finds a new place to hide*

It's Only a Game, After All

Move 156
[Name Withheld] [4k]: who bothers to read out a ladder? if some stones are nearby you have some feeling like "wow, that might work" and go for it. you win or lose, thats go ^^
tantalus [-]: what on earth are you talking about, [Name Withheld]?
[Name Withheld] [4k]: never mind tantalus
[Name Withheld] [4k]: random talk
meritee [1k]: b is stubborn
SJSU [4k]: owned
Move 157
trumpet [2k]: he talks the same way he handles ladders ;)

Not Quite Go-Related

Heliotrope: god is sometimes used as a religious idea... that is not allowed in discussion here
Gilgamesh: every now and again, yeah

Maybe Life Is Like Go After All

Ta0: living has blown my mind
Amaranth: that's typically a good start at least
cow666: mind is like a tire
Amaranth: you need at least two to go really fast?
Ta0: once its blown you replace it?
Amaranth: you need a special one to function in the winter?

Family-Friendly Department

nogotalent: hey java?
nogotalent: we have a new user named ******* here
Javaness: oh nice
nogotalent: haha
nogotalent: registered yesterday
Javaness: i bet it's been dealt with already
nogotalent: dunno, ******** and ******* still seem to be here
nickBlake: If I were to ever start a go server, vulgarity would be enforced, not discouraged.
nogotalent: yes%%%% nogotalent: "*******, you haven't used up your quota today--get cracking or you're out!"

Scottish Beer

ShaleStone: the kind of beer you get anyehre elce
Mori: i mean if there's certain brands that come from there >_>
qwerty123: yes welll,
Mori: but i suppose scotland is famous for the whisky and ireland for the beer?
qwerty123: uh yeh i guess, we have budweiser and stuff, you know the worldwide ones
qwerty123: well, there is the orkney skullsplitter
Mori: that sounds like something for orcs
qwerty123: hehe, tastes like it too

Advanced Mathematics

Vheissu: when KGS went down for three days%%%% Vheissu: not being able to play go was sad
s: i went to igs and played 10 games a day for those 3 days
Vheissu: So its nice to have KGS
s: total of about 50 games
Vheissu: fun?
s: sure
ChoMama: erm... 10 x 3 = 50?
Vheissu: It’s special math
s: i guess it was more per day... i was keeping a record though, and it added up to 50
ChoMama: just kidding
s: but also, 10 x 3 IS 50, you know that
s: you get that in first grade
ChoMama: do you now! ;-)
Vheissu: No one is debating that
s: :)
s: thank you all
Hylebos: Indeed.

Blather in Kib III

madcow [2d]: w has cash
kingko [2k]: b has nothing
Move 153
madcow [2d]: M7
Move 156
kaiser2 [4k]: lol b has change
madcow [2d]: b has USD... it keeps depreciating

Make Big Money, Work from Home

KuudeeKun: never heard of 1d (ama) making money by teaching go
info: i've heard of 10ks on KGS charging to teach
jwalton: How much can they bill you back for the stuff you teach that is wrong :P
info: make them bring a signed letter from the 7d they replace you with :)
jwalton: oh yeah, 7d charges $10 for letter, you get $5 refund

Support Group Monday 7 P.M.

Shikasta: first case of mad cow disease in england was margaret thatcher
madcow: no... i didn't do anything to thatcher
qwazidan: madcow can't stop reliving those months of interrogation
mmdcow: it was so horrible
madcow: cows have been blamed for things much worse
mmdcow: discrimination is part of a cow’s life
madcow: what does mmd stand for mmdcow?
qwazidan: mammals of mass destruction

Advanced Reduction

tempo: what is cap on a cap called if white has a half board moyo with the side hoshi and you play the 6th line cap on his 4th line stone and then he plays 8th line cap on your capping stone. Is there a name for this?
tywin: Optimism.

Down Memory Lane

Uberdude3: awww, i feel like a 30k again
Uberdude3: my opponent misread a ladder and played it all across the board - those were the days%%%% Nyanjilla: I'm sure he's delighted to see you report that here....
Uberdude3: me too - he made me have fond memories

Not a Tough Problem

Move 23
McBurton [20k]: Your thoughts thus far, gentlemen?
Move 24
tetris [-]: and lady :)
fumbler [3k]: my upper walls are strong enough that i don't really need to worry about them yet
camacho [8k]: ? who's a lady, and how can you tell?
Move 25
tetris [-]: i am, and i can tell by looking in the mirror


TheProject: a symbol has no power unless you believe in it.
cassiopeia: what if 100 people believe a symbol is telling them to throw eggs at you?

History Lesson

deadlift: what is the origin of dan ranks?
desde: is this a quiz?
deadlift: when was the first dan ranking awarded?
desde: or do you want to know the answer?
deadlift: yes
Piz: "Dan Ranks" was a British sailor who washed ashore in Japan in 1643 and became a celebrated Go player.
desde: ha ha
desde: that is the third funniest thing i have ever heard on kgs piz

[Ed. Note: A few years later, Dan married a Japanese woman named Kyu, and they had a daughter they named Pro.]


A: does anyone know how i can set up a tournament?
B: get some friends together ^^
A: does anyone wanna be my friend?

Etymology Corner

Psychopomp: when did hella become a word?
m3rcury: yesterday around noon i think.
cassiopeia: yeah, when i went to bed it wasn't a word

Looking for a high dan game?

ToStrong: when are the 9dans gona play
MrTenuki: ...when they log in.
EliDupree: lol
MrTenuki: Currently there are none in the EGR.

[Editor's note: This was confirmed by sorting the list of players by rank.]


Masticator: oh thank heavens the sugar is wearing off a little bit!%%%% Elandal: that's bad. You need more chocolate.
Masticator: but i'd be sick to my stomach%%%% Elandal: Small price :)
Masticator: I think I'll just have this pixie stick instead
ehl: one doesn't really masticate pixie sticks
Elandal: I guess I'll just go to bed now :)
ehl: umm, maybe that should have been pixie stix
ehl: american plurals can be tricky
Elandal: Just add random characters and blame line noise.
Masticator: oh snap, you're right it is pixie stix
Masticator: no wait it's pixy stix, wow%%%% juggernaut: "just add random characters and blame line noise" sounds like a recipe for instant soup
ehl: most recipes omit a recommendation for blame
juggernaut: actually alphabet soup
ehl: which greatly reduces their utility
juggernaut: i know, this is new
juggernaut: improved utility, yes
ehl: "whisk until peaks are firm but not dry--if you overwhisk, blame the weatherman"
juggernaut: costs more, of course

Breakfast Lecture

rhubarb: anyone know where i can replay the breakfast lecture yesterday?
busty: try the food network
rhubarb: food network?


Club2 [13k]: i play much better when i think a lot
hikaru1126 [12k]: me too

The Chemistry of Water

(Editor's note: several lines of conversation not relavant to the "water" topic were removed.)

godeciple: snow is a liguid not a solid so u dont know
godeciple: liquid*
Muttley: snow is a crystal, actually
godeciple: i know
godeciple: we talked about water
maladroit: Snow is a liquid?
Hu: Nope.
godeciple: no but water is
Hu: Water can be a solid, a liquid, or a gas.
maladroit: Between 0 ans 100 degrees C it is a liquid.
godeciple: but plain water
maladroit: and*
Hu: Plain water can be a solid, a liquid, or a gas.
godeciple: huh
godeciple: nu uh
Javaness: no it can't Hu
godeciple: if its in normal form no heating or colling
XY0908: so there's no water 120 degrees C?
Javaness: only H20 can
Hu: H2O = water
omundsoj: water does not imply liquid
omundsoj: ice is water, steam is water
maladroit: Give up Hu. We have an understanding of Nature deficiency here.
godeciple: plain no other form....but just water is a liquid
Muttley: don't forget, people are 85% water
Muttley: cucumbers are 98% water
Muttley: therefore people are 75% cucumber
Javaness: joseki are 75% water
Pulpstar: People arre 98% the same as cucumbers
godeciple: java is 100% cool
Muttley: I rest my case, your honour
maladroit: godeciple seems to think that ice and steam are 'fancy' water.
omundsoj: hu is right. water is H20, ... whether the molecules are moving fast enough to be liquid or gas, it is still the same substance, water
godeciple: mala no
Javaness: not the terminolgy I learnt in school
godeciple: im in school
godeciple: and not teh way im tought
Hu: Water in its most abundant form is solid particles in interstellar space or cold planets / moons.
godeciple: taught*
blubb: water exists from close to 0K up to several thousands K
godeciple: water no heatign colling molecules rushing or nothing
godeciple: is liquid
gtgrouch: water, as solid: ice, as liquid: water, as gas: steam
XY0908: Muttley, I just drank 16 ounce of water, what's the percentage of water of me?
gtgrouch: 100% unless you dripped
teralaser: Please go chat in the English Water Room
Javaness: i wonder what it could have been
godeciple: lol enlgish water room
godeciple: more like noone cares
Muttley: XY, depends on the temperature of the water
Javaness: penny drops cannot be heard through double glazing
Muttley: if it was high, the proportion was lovely
Muttley: if it was cool, the proportion is "So so!"
XY0908: 68 F.
Muttley: Just minky
threegen: I think you are missing the most important point. Water's most important form is when it is drinkable, and then it is called beer.
omundsoj: –noun 1. a transparent, odorless, tasteless liquid, a compound of hydrogen and oxygen, H2O, freezing at 32°F or 0°C and boiling at 212°F or 100°C, that in a more or less impure state constitutes rain, oceans, lakes, rivers, etc.: it contains 11.188 percent hydrogen and 88.812 percent oxygen, by weight.
Muttley: you missed the most important point, om
Muttley: it's wet
threegen: water is also important for recreational fishing, eg. trolling
teralaser: Javaness, you should be in the new English Water Room ...
maladroit: I think I'm going to save this conversation and laugh over it from time to time.
XY0908: Are Go players more liquidy than others?
XY0908: Javaness can be 80% admin and 20% of water.
Javaness: enough chemistry please

Go a Wombat

maladroit: I love wombats. They remind me of home.
KarateKyu: wombat...are those anything like bats?
maladroit: No.
KarateKyu: Stands for "Waste of Money Brains and Time".

High quality discussion in ECR

bloodybird: Mu has issues...
Mu: You have problems.
Mu: We're even.
EraOfGames: of nintendo powe%%%% EraOfGames: *power
EraOfGames: dangit
sparrowX: u both are mentally incapacitated
bloodybird: whoa
Mu: Actually, no.
bloodybird: what does incapacitated mean?
Mu: Lol.
EraOfGames: pwned
bloodybird: No, I was that a while back now
Mu: Hmm?
bloodybird: I'm bleeding...
bloodybird: My nose is bright red
Mu: You should paint your cat blue.
Mu: Do so immediately.
Mu: What is your favorite song, bloodybird?
Moregyn: he hates you so he left.
Mu: what an a hole
EraOfGames: basically youtube i mean
EraOfGames: too bad
Moregyn: OH YES
EraOfGames: all your tubes are belong to me
Moregyn: gosh mu...making everyone quite talking...
Moregyn: *quit
Kittenchan: I did it Woot Woot%%%% Mu: woot toot your fruit?
Mu: I wonder.
Mu: If you could make some sort of instrument out of fruit.


adoreme: it is said that kgs has a secret end stage
adoreme: get 9dan
adoreme: and beat 50 9dans in a row
adoreme: then tartrate will appear as the endboss

Gravity at Work

(name changed to protect the innocent)

wayward: I always wondered, what keeps stars in constellations? There must be a hidden force at work
[Name Withheld]: it's called gravity
wayward: rofl

1337 SP334K

Hu: u can use teh automach pla go menu or ctrl n, the custm gaem btn or klik gamez in teh open games thingy or use all 3 the saem time fer best funzr
Hylebos: Hu iz teh uber 1337 haxxor.
Hu: >^.^<

Overheard on the KGS Teaching Ladder

iPwnNoobs: i power....growing
dsaun: nah, that's just hemorrhoids

Rise of the Bots

lepore: ok seriously a robot just escaped on me
RoundTuit: they are getting smarter

Another case of flooding

piece11: wen
(Editor's note: The above line was repeated 8-9 times)

anko129: stop D:
Hu: Stop
Luminaire: cue Hu
kingblitz: boot that idiot
Luminaire: ahh too late
Giggles64: too late what?
AkariNara: yeah, Piece11, please, stop flooding
Javaness: Remember, flooding is never acceptable
Giggles64: javaness! hi
AkariNara: hello, Javaness-sama
Luminaire: remember, eat your wheates
Giggles64: haha
AkariNara: lol
liza: java, yes god
kingblitz: i just drank a can of canned java
iancho: Remember, never run with scissors.
XY0908: Hello handsome Irish administrator.
AkariNara: lol
liza: xy, have you seen his pic?
Lifestream: i have seen him in real life
XY0908: Why do I feel that I am repeating myself today...?
Lifestream: i have even played him in real life
Lifestream: ;-]
Luminaire: ohhhhh, burn Liza
Javaness: Luminaire: do not promote arson on KGS
XY0908: He was in Korea, liza.


Luminaire: remember Java, I still have my squirrel internment camp, if you nicer to me, I let a hostage go
Lifestream: lol
chrono3450: KGS has something against arson?
AkariNara: oh shut up, Lumi
Lifestream: you're such a nice person liz
Javaness: your camp is now under my control

Blue's gonna win!

lubricated [6k]: um, is it me or is white attacking the wrong side?
TheTuss [10k]: black is defending the god side?
AutoAtari [1k?]: it's you, put more lube
isaka [-]: its you
Moyoyoyo [2d?]: B lost game
lubricated [6k]: psh. b won game
Magnusjen [7k]: not yet lubi
flowing [3d]: b lost
TheTuss [10k]: blue won
flowing [3d]: blue?!?
lubricated [6k]: you see, think the opposite of whatever i say
nicat [2k]: wh???

The Power of Positive Thinking

[Name Withheld]: Has anyone else here ever had the feeling of *knowing* they're stronger than most of the opponents they've lost to?
[Name Withheld]: like, at least 90% of them, over a period of months at a time?
maladroit: No.
scum: you aren't strong enough, until you stop blundering
[Name Withheld]: because I can't remember the last time I didn't feel like that.
scum: discipline is the most important component of strength
holynec: yes [Name Withheld]
holynec: you play agame and you're winning and then you forget about a group and lose
holynec: ^^
horacelamb: I know what you're talking about but scum is right
Nyanjilla: so start a new account and see if you really are stronger
[Name Withheld]: how would that help? I'd only face the same opponents.
scum: your positional judgement might be superior, but if you can't see things thru tactically
maladroit: Incisive, as ever.
scum: you aren't really better
Nyanjilla: with a new account, your rank would move faster
[Name Withheld]: but I'm losing most of my games recently.
Nyanjilla: uh....
Arroc: You are losing... and convinced that you are stronger?
[Name Withheld]: yes.
Nyanjilla: o-o-o-o-o-o-o-kay... you have a different problem, then

Make a party

(what follows is a PM with a French user who appears to have translated "partie" as "party" instead of "game"...)

CELISSTE: good morning you definitely want to make a party with me?
weakling: sorry i do not understand sorry
CELISSTE: with me
weakling: party?
weakling: with dance music?
CELISSTE: no just party
weakling: and drink?
weakling: i do not understand sorry
CELISSTE: !!%%% weakling: shall i bring my own beer?
weakling: where is the party
weakling: do i have to come to france? the plane is too expensive for me sorry
CELISSTE: I just want to play a party against you
weakling: i don't understand sorry
CELISSTE: the game
weakling: i don't understand sorry
weakling: a party game? like musical chairs?
CELISSTE: yes a party game
weakling: which?
CELISSTE: excuse me (laugh)
CELISSTE: i'am older brother of celisste
CELISSTE: i take the speach
weakling: hello
CELISSTE: my youger brother is really fond of go game for one year
CELISSTE: but a party...
CELISSTE: he speak about a game
weakling: a party game?
CELISSTE: oh but you are 9d
CELISSTE: a party game
weakling: pass the parcel?
CELISSTE: parcel ?
weakling: which party game?
CELISSTE: what is a parcel ?
CELISSTE: 9 stone ?
weakling: i don't know this game sorry
CELISSTE: handicap
CELISSTE: ok, have a good afternoon
weakling: thx bye

Ants' feelings

Meepy: nobody thinks about the ants' feelings T_T
NannyOgg: excuse me ? I hope you will be an ANT in your next life%%% ImNoSensei: they have feelers %%% Meepy: good point

Bad Puns Hurt

yamahawk: please someone join my 3x3 game :)
liq3: LOL...
liq3: only if i can go white, and you aren't allowed to play center :D
liq3: on first move.
Hylebos: liq, you just set up double ladders.
Hylebos: Breaks mirror go every time.
liq3: 3x3 board... :P
liq3: no room to make a ladder xD
NoKnott: ah, so it was a rung answer

Luke and force always works

css: help
css: lustig
css: /?
WoolyMaCha: What help do u need?
css: sorry - i thougt there was some kind of console-help
Uberdude: /use your mouse
yorugua: lol
sheeryjay: /and point upper right to Help word
sauri: Use the mouse, Luke
css: thanks! :-)

You'd Better Be Good!

maladroit: I get the feeling that glue is a bit tense today. Let's all be very, very good.
RoundTuit: better to be good even when glue isn't...
SirRobin: what is the fun in being good if no one is watching?
glue: when I'm not good ? :)

That's a Strange Position...

doviende: i always thought tesuji were more like reading the in "that's a strange position, but it appears to work well"

Failing to Kill 3-3 Invasion Again

tiger32k [7k]: idk why people even bother going for corners
tiger32k [7k]: no matter what you do there is always a way in

So True...

EuroGoTV1 [-]: just refresh your browser
Grimley [1d]: it's not thirsty

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3

owlbudha: test
brunette: fail

I'm Korean Now!

shodansoon: i'm korean now
Cookies: o_O
shodansoon: i just got stronger
Cookies: being stronger makes you korean?
shodansoon: no, being korean makes you stronger

The strength of the 1-1 point

norg: I am 9d really
plober: I am 39k really
norg: 39k is strongest
plober: It's a honor title given after starting at the 1-1 point :)
Zvi: 1-1 strong. cannot be invaded

Stupid Lag

Sarcasm: lolmy brave
Sarcasm: spartan
Sarcasm: s
Sarcasm: my brave spartans*
Sarcasm: ><
Sarcasm: stupid lag
Sarcasm: cutting my sentences

A Musical Interlude

elementc: We’re no strangers to Go
elementc:You know the rules
elementc: And so do I
Tex: Oh dear... o.O
Warfreak2: furikawari’s what i’m thinking of
Warfreak2: you wouldn’t get this on any other server

Let's Count

Move 265

karimk [22k]: kill the stuff that is dead
karimk [22k]: so
karimk [22k]: we can count
mafizzle [30k]: sure


frak: where do i hang my britches?
schilds: on the rack
romans122: on the line out back
frak: the glass rack?
Goatliness: There's a knob just here for them.

Purring Tesuji

RayFrost [12k]: hey honte, does your cat play well
RayFrost [12k]: ?
Honte [-]: My cat IS playing :) I deal with the typing
RayFrost [12k]: lol
RayFrost [12k]: Honte, does that mean you are translating for your cat?
Tex [15k]: Haha, I can't beat my cat with a five-stone handicap. I move and she goes for the cat version of the nuclear tesuji.
RayFrost [12k]: lol
Tex [15k]: It involves lots of purring.
Honte [-]: But the stones make such a nice sound as they hit the floor...

Roundabout Way

zeb: y'know, I always though "noobs" was a roundabout way of saying "sqoou"


Very long, so check the main article on WGAR

Chinese Legend

Emperor: there is this chinese legend of Traw Ling, a demon who lives under bridges
floss: do tell
Emperor: you can continue :-)
NoKnott: and his nemesis, Boo Ting

Please Register

cjalden: it would be nice if you registered, Hikaru9999 - so I wouldn't have to re-enter censor every time you're on

Weak kibitz loses a stone

Lukan [5d]: M17 so slow
mihi [6d]: slow but efficient:)
Lukan [4d]: :)
holynec [?]: m17 is necessary
holynec [?]: lol you lost a stone lukan, with that comment
mote2: m3 was more efficient ?
holynec [?]: weak kibitz = lose a stone

The Great Debate

Nathaniel: anyone else have rivals?
harukaai: My rival's a shodan!!!%%% harukaai: lol just kidding, he's my best friend.
Nathaniel: cool
harukaai: yeah, 'couldn't beat him if I tried.
Nathaniel: same with me
harukaai: coolio. ^^
shindon: ( ninja pops out of no where )
harukaai: how long you been playing?
shindon: duck
harukaai: XD shindon.
shindon: me 1year 8monthes
harukaai: Yes, hun, I know that. I was asking Nathaniel.
shindon: * ninja kills the president*
Nathaniel: yeah
Nathaniel: AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!%%% shindon: oh comon now we have to deal with a bigger idiot as a president
shindon: but still
harukaai: Ah, yes, this is my best friend.
shindon: Woo
Javaness: What is going on here?
MeatHead?: whats the best sgf edit/viewing program?
shindon: hey JAvaness
harukaai: no one really knows, java.
shindon: were just running away from Ninjas
harukaai: You can't run from ninjas.
Cassis0: is kgs admin considered as a president?
Alphons3: you can try
harukaai: true, but you won't succeed.
Alphons3: unless your flash
harukaai: hm... flash vs. ninja. That would be interesting to watch
Alphons3: i think flash would win
shindon: nah
shindon: ninja
harukaai: Ninjas, definately.
shindon: but a pirate beats them all
harukaai: no, hun, they don't.
Alphons3: lol no
jmtandrews: a pirate could only beat a ninja if the ninja was a paraplegic
harukaai: well said.
shindon: no pirates win
shindon: no matter what
Alphons3: nope FMA will destroy all
Javaness: a squirrel would beat a pirate any day
harukaai: YES! Go Java%%% shindon: what
shindon: how could you say that
Javaness: because it's true
harukaai: because it's true.
Javaness: see
shindon: i am talking about like a pirates of the Carbiean type of pirate
harukaai: lol
Javaness: you are just asking to be banned
jmtandrews: yeah, we're talking about the real ninja type of ninjas.
Alphons3: lol
shindon: ninjas suck
Alphons3: FMA still wins
jmtandrews: Like the kind that you can't see. ever.
harukaai: Poor shindon, you're losing.
shindon: a cowboy beats them all
Alphons3: no
harukaai: no.
shindon: cow boys could shoot you before you had a chance to clap
harukaai: ninjas always win.
harukaai: end of story
shindon: are ninjas faster then a bullet
shindon: no
Cassis0: I think a pirate with nuts could beat a squirrel
harukaai: hahaha


srn347: give me liberties or give me death

Chat byoyomi (found in a KGS wishlist)

Guichocha?: there should be a 30-second byo-yomi period for everyone in the EGR; it resets every time you contribute to the chat. If you run out of byo-yomi, you get booted off the server.

Confusing the Japanese Jargon

ThePumpkin? [9k]: so i dont really know this juski
ThePumpkin? [9k]: jusaki
Kable [24k?]: isnt it juseki?

Computer Trickery

Gregory [-]: white's certain of win now, looking at M18
yoyoma [1d]: devious bots of tomorrow maybe play move like M18...
yoyoma [1d]: and trick human to resign :)
Gregory [-]: hahahaha - very good
yoyoma [1d]: 'I've won, I counted it all out, just resign now'

Spoiler Alert

yarr: In the secret end of Hikaru no go, Hikaru gets stuck at mid sdk plateau and spends the rest of his life trolling in the egr

Artificial Chatbot

HelloCoder?: It wouldn't be too hard to write a program which could fool go players into thinking it was a human. Egad: you just have to spell words wrong and always say off topic things

Coming undone

Warfreak2: i refuse to submit to these artificial colour restrictions

Warfreak2: i am a gurgle stove

AmyTS: This will be your undoing, war-san.

pancancan: ?

Warfreak2: i am as undone already as a child's shoelaces

AmyTS: Very nice metaphor.

Schroedinger's Ko

In 2008 there were a discussion about Schroedinger's Ko (read there)

Peanut butter and Go

wither: is there a protocol for accidentally placing a stone in the wrong place in real life?

kgsjdh: there is no wrong place in real life, only in games

wither: its harder to do, but it can be done

kgsjdh: do you suggest I accept this based only upon your assertion?

wither: if i can put the peanut butter in the fridge

wither: i can put a go stone in the wrong place

wither: and i can. and i can

hunyadi: wither speaks from a place of deep wisdom. deep crunchy peanut butter wisdom.

The norg

TitanPupil?: i need my norg settled

bunkicker: it is

bunkicker: become one with the norg

Death is against the rules

[17:12] Muttley: It is against the Terms of Service to die.

[17:12] readytogo: rule number one ovoid dieing

[17:12] Jadeite: lies

[17:12] Muttley: You get banned for that.

[17:12] Falcon89: so don't die when Muttley is here

[17:12] Kheldragar: I'll make sure not to

[17:12] Xena: Muttley?

[17:12] Muttley: right

[17:13] bluved: i dont wanna die >,<

[17:13] w00p: banned for life

[17:13] Kheldragar: Short ban

[17:13] Feminist: when are you leaving muttley?

Trolling hard

Ampelusa: another common historical misrepresentation

Ampelusa: the "genocide" of native americans

Ampelusa: when most were killed by diseases (unintentionally brought by the europeans)

IamSai?: yeeesh... you really are trying hard, aren't you?

Taro: this kind of trolling is unacceptable__

Cheater Alert!

MagicMike? :i"m not allowed in Las Vegas

ebeetles: you got banned from a city??

MagicMike?: or they"d have to kill me

alfalfa: this is why the casinos hire professional dealers.

alfalfa: so the patrons can"t handle the deck.

MagicMike?: they watch ppl very closely there

alfalfa: especially the dealers whom they hire

On Generosity

AmyTS [?]*sets coffee and donuts out on a table, with napkins*

Herod [-]pounces

nekonome 4k?Amy, you are always so generous


AmyTS [?]*sets coffee and donuts out on a table*

AmyTS [?]*sends a very big donut back in time 45 minutes*

SmolFish? [18k]~lol

Toya325 [15k]Again?

Toya325 [15k]I"ll take the donuts though.

AmyTS [?]eric tried to remind me but i missed it

AmyTS [?]fortunately i have some time-traveling donuts handy

Mukti [3d]I wonder. Could you send them back in time after eating them. And if so would you grow hungry again?

AmyTS [?]unfortunately, the time travelling tech won"t function after it has been chewed

Unicorn Cake

AmyTS [10k?] pink unicorns are arguably the best kind of unicorns

McMaster? [-] I think the orange one is better

dayharri [?] polka dot

AmyTS [10k?] *horrified*

ebeetles [2d] What about the rainbow ones

Toya325 [14k] Rainbow polka dot unicorns

alfalfa [4k] i"m pretty sure that rainbows are... how can i put this delicately... a gaseous product

Toya325 [14k] Rainbow gaseous polka dot unicorns

Toya325 [14k] there


AmyTS [10k?] needs more delicate

Toya325 [14k] *sigh* Delicate gaseous rainbow polka dot unicorns

Toya325 [14k] Anything else?

McMaster? [-] I dare not say

AmyTS [10k?] needs to be a cyborg unicorn

Toya325 [14k] Delicate gaseous cyborg rainbow polka dot unicorns

ebeetles [2d] With stripes

McMaster? [-] Amy, how about making us a unicorn cake?

AmyTS [10k?] you didn"t pay me for my last cake

Toya325 [14k] Delicate gaseous cyborg rainbow polka dot striped unicorn cake

McMaster? [-] alf is supposed to pay

ebeetles [2d] Yes, it"ll be very expensive

AmyTS [10k?] you"re listed as the buyer


Real Meatballs

TengenBot?[-]: Answer: TengenBot? is the world"s first real meat-ball!

Serious Note to the Editors

Anonymous: I've been adding entries and making small edits to this page for some time. Today, I added the entry that follows(Phelan: entry moved above). When I saw it on the actual page, I noticed a typo, so I clicked [Edit], at the right of the title of the new entry, as I always do. But when I got to the edit page, I saw what looked like the whole Great Moments page, and my earlier edits were gone. I'm concerned, partly because my previous work isn't there and the errors I corrected have been restored to the way they were before I worked on them. As far as getting all of Great Moments, I think there's something wrong with this particular instance of the [Edit] command, because when I try clicking [Edit] next to any other entry, I get just that entry in the edit page, and things go as usual. As for my edits disappearing, I have no idea how that happened. Could you please (1) fix the [Edit] command next to the last title, and (2) fix the page so that my corrections stay correct?

Zarlan: Quotes are not supposed to get typos corrected. They should be as they where originaly typed.

Phelan:I don't see your edit in the page history. Are you sure you didn't click Preview instead of Save? what you're describing seems like you clicked on a section edit link that wasn't in the actual page, and that's only happened to me when I was previewing a page. Also, I left a message for you and other editors of this page in comments ( % ) at the end of page a few edits back. I was hoping you had read it when you edited the page. In short, it says you should explain changes to chat logs. Oh, and it would also be nice if you edited this page using a UserName, so we can see who's editing.

Phelan(later): I've just found the situation you described. When you edit the page twice in a row, it shows it as only one edit. So, if you try to click on an [Edit] link for a section you've just created, it edits the entire page instead. the section should be there, it's just a matter of scrolling up or down to find it.

See also:

Great Moments in KGS Chat last edited by bugcat on May 10, 2022 - 15:04
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