Get Strong At Kibitz
This fantastic new book provides the mid-kyu and relatively weak player with all the skills and know-how to become strong in the fine art of game kibitz. With this book you will learn many of the Professional kibitz secrets, enabling you to confidently and authoritatively kibitz the games of strong dan and pro players.
This book will teach you many skills, including:
- How to comment a game using chatter which, to the untrained eye, appears unrelated. Special section for what's on television, favourite beer and the weather outside.
- How to draw attention to your comments with skillful use of capital letters and excessive punctuation.
- How to demonstrate that you're much stronger than mid-kyu by predicting the co-ordinates of the next high-dan move without any explanation or qualification - and how to keep a low profile on those rare occasions when you're completely wrong!
- Maximizing your available kibitz space by using txt chat. omg its so kewl u wont be able 2 believe ur eyes!!!
- Imparting an air of mystical kyu power to your audience by boldly stating "ko" or "seki" when just a few stones have been played in an area by two battling dans. In the advanced section you will learn when to state that a move "is big" for even greater effect.
- Using kibitz to inform professional dan players that some of their moves are slow and that they should resign.
- How to make your statements appear knowledgeable while keeping them vague enough to abandon. People will respect your kyu authority when you clarify a tricky dan game with "b has some problems", "that move was brilliant" or "he walked into a trap" without any further explanation.
- Enhancing your statements with ASCII representations of smiling faces. This book goes beyond the classic :-) and teaches you to use immediately recognisable face representations such as ^_^ and O_o
- Ten different ways to express your desire for a ko fight - without requiring any understanding of what a fight would mean or its significance! Get straight to the action with the "ko ko" kibitz chant!
- How to maintain your kibitz presence throughout a game. Most weak kibitzers stay weak because when they have nothing useful to say they remain quiet and leave the commentary to the most experienced players. Maintain a kibitz presence by typing something every few seconds and you'll ensure that you're always remembered and respected for your opinions.
Includes free introduction to the Kibitz Teaching Ladder. Have your kibitzed games reviewed by stronger kibitzers. One of the fastest ways to make progress!
Get Strong At Kibitz is available at all good bookshops priced £11.75.
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Read some more Get Strong At Kibitz Extracts
See /discussion for a heated debate on this book!