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5,000 unsolvable Problems: black to live. "a" might be a good start.
Standard pattern from "10,000 unreadable Kifus".
The infamous nose-reddening move
Invading second line Moyos
Dango Argentino, from the same book

Go books I wrote

Author of the books

"How to lose a lost Game", "How to count in Sente" and "Cheating with Fun", Ushi Press
In preparation: "Your Breakthrough to double digit Kyu"
Also in preparation: "At the empty Goban. 361 starting points for uncreative Players."
5,000 unsolvable Problems: black to live. "a" might be a good start.  
Now new: "10,000 unreadable Kifus" & "5,000 unsolvable Problems", Drama Press
A common technique is handing out the Tsumego to your opponent to frustrate him before your game.
Complete with "help" to the starting point, but of course without real solution.
Standard pattern from "10,000 unreadable Kifus".  

No one grasps what happened beneath the mythical "Fog of War".

"In very bad Shape." Bear Grylls on how he survived his first Go game and how he once survived the desert,
  only equipped with his worm infested Goban.
"O sh-t, oshitsubushi!", after "1,2,3, Furikawari" this is the 2nd lecture about professional bragging in Go.
  Counter the self-confident shouts of "ATARI!" from your opponent with: "OIOTOSHI!!" and leave him wondering
  about that while you play still concentrated and crush him. If not, then fearlessly hurl a TENUKI from your tool belt.
In preparation: "The Silent Subtle Psycho Series"
  Unnerve your opponent with subtle, unnerving sounds and smells like stinking socks & shrieking shouts.
Also in preparation: "The Stones go dancing" and other dirty distractions for your opponent.
And Mirage Press proudly presents now:
"The Kifu of Horror" 50 horrible games of Go legends; e.g. the famous nose reddening auto atari. All invented.
"I shortly thought of you during Byoyomi - and 6.5 other romantic Confessions to say to your Lovemate"
"My opponent? Mostly harmless. Goodbye, & thx for the fish." Hitchhikers Guide novel; revised edition. Don´t forget your Goban.
"Pretending to be nice" THE way for high Dan player how to let the weaker player do what he wants to do -
  as long as it´s bad for him. In the appendix: how to force him to do what he wants.
"Yes, you can! - unexpected invading techniques & how to defend your position", wicked edition.
"Radiant new Moves - How to slowly tear your Opponent apart." (Only if he takes white.)
  Note that this method requires polonium deposits. Especially effective with 1000 year- ko.
  Fancies up your Go board as well (might glow in the night. no guarantee for that).
  Complete with protection suit (only pink color left in stock). Not suitable for kids under 3 years of age.
The infamous nose-reddening move  
Black (Shusaku) played his 127th move with 1.
He nearly got famous by playing at a.

Other Ushi Press authors

Invading second line Moyos  


Invading second line moyos
Selected centre fights: black to play and die
Secrets to living with the 3-3 Joseki
Yose means it's time to party!

Kevin James:

How to defend your Steak - Practical Go applications in real live Situations
[ext] Video review on the mistake of a 5Dan here

Leonardo DiCaprio?:

Catch me If you can - How to taunt your opponent effectively
When your Ship is sinking, go Dancing
Dango Argentino, from the same book  

Fernando Aguilar:

"Dango Argentino"
- note on the illustration how this Dango shape is perfectly put into place.

Random Go Utterances

An excerpt from my bestseller "Randomly uttered stuff by random famous - and not so famous - Go players":

Lance Armstrong:"Go is like professional cycling- just you against the elements of truth, honesty and integrity."
Cho Chikun: "It is not, what we... how shall I put it?"
Go Seigen: "Never forget: the most important move is... no, forget it, just play. Cya."
Donald Trump: "I met my 2nd, 4th, 7th and 9th wives through go."
Muttley (about Joseki): "hmmmm...."
Master Yoda (about strength): "The force strong in you is, young Padawan."
Croakey Hobblefoot, the one legged pirate from Snake Island:
 "When I was younger, everyone in my household played go- father, mother, brother, sister, my pet snake and the man in the cellar."
Tokee (playing go in a Café): "I'd like a coffee, too, please."
Chuck Norris "A day isn't a day unless I have roundhouse kicked a goban."

[ext] Note that we offer free online tutorials on how to do the monkey jump now

thanks @Muttley for fun quotes & inspiration

Fantasy go quotes

  It's not how one dies, its how one lives that truly matters.
  -  Artemis Entreri
  Power is always a relative concept.
  - Yharaskrik
  There are reasons for things that a casual observer might not understand.
  - Jarlaxle
  If so powerful you are… why leave?
  - Yoda to foe (you see, his opponent was an escaper)
  It's the sensible, logical thing to do, of course, which is why we don't do it.
  - Tanis Halfelven

How to build the Drunken Go Board

/How to build the Drunken Go Board

Quotes of my past go teachers

(a la Muttley)

  Umezawa Yukari: Your style reminds me of Hikaru no Go.
  Me: Wow, Hikaru no Go. Thats some statement!
  Umezawa Yukari: To be more precise: you know of that girl,
  Akari Fujisaka that lost so badly against Hikaru with 24 handicap stones?
  Kobayashi Koichi: Your game reminds me of Lee Sedol.
  In one aspect, at least: you are taking too many risks.
  Takemiya Masaki: One might call your play also "cosmic": look, all ya groups are like dozens of stars,
   all with a single eye, and remind me of black holes.
  Cho Chikun: If you keep playing like this, I'll never play you again!
  Me: You can't, I already paid our next 20 lessons!
  Cho Chikun: That's why I hate Go!*
  *Cho Chikun once stated he hates Go (despite his skill)


Das Go Turnier ("Über den Wolken", German)

Berlin Ost, Start um halb drei
Bis hier höre ich die Uhren
Go Turnier, ich bin dabei
Jemand stöhnt, er hat verloren
Ob die Gruppe da vorn lebt?
Werd' drei Steine dorthin legen
Bis sie abhebt und sie schwebt
Dem Tengen entgegen
In deiner Gruppe
Muss die Freiheit wohl grenzenlos sein
Alle Ängste, alle Sorgen
Sagt man
Blieben ihr gänzlich verborgen
Und dann
Würde was dir null und nichtig erscheint
Plötzlich wichtig und mein
Ich seh' ihr noch lange nach
Mit ihr kann was nicht stimmen
Bis die Steine nach und nach
Ganz lahm zur Ecke hinschwimmen
Ihre Augen haben schon
Jenen wicht'gen Punkt verloren
Nur von fern' klingt monoton
Das Summen der Ing - Uhren
In deiner Ecke
Muss die Freiheit wohl grenzenlos sein
Alle Ängste, alle Sorgen
Sagt man
Blieben ihr gänzlich verborgen
Und dann
Würde was dir null und nichtig erscheint
Plötzlich wichtig und mein
Dann ist alles still, ich seh'
Du haust dir auf deine Backe
Irgendjemand kocht Kaffee
Es sieht eher aus wie Schlacke
In den Süppchen schwimmt Benzin
Um die mache ich 'nen Bogen
Das Grüppchen ist nun dahin
Ich hätt' ungern verloren
Auf deinem Goban
Muss die Freiheit wohl grenzenlos sein
Alle Ängste, alle Sorgen
Sagt man
Blieben dir gänzlich verborgen
Und dann
Würde was dir null und nichtig erscheint
Plötzlich wichtig und mein


mouseclick on goban
achieving an art of shape
a second seki
Waya eats mango,
his opponent played dango;
dangerous tango.
I said to Sango:
Thus play not with that dan go,
play with that mango.
sip my drink at night
watching go, someone plays cap
- aji on the rocks
pachi* *clack* *pachi*
stones they put, some took, stern look,
- definitely baduk!
wei qi with homie,
will win with my six komi
- oh sh*t, byoyomi!
a crane steps past the window
sensei yells: focus!!
the politicians:
people that try to cap us
to gain influence.

and now, a 1-3-1:

win by one


  Madonna: "Die another Day" quote: "´s not my time to Go."
  Wham!: "Wake me up, before you Go-Go"
  Etta James: "I´d rather Go blind"
  Yazoo: "Don´t Go"
  Nickelback: "Fight for all the wrong Reasons"
  Bryan Adams: "It cuts like a Knife"
  Destiny's Child: "I'm a Survivor"
  Michael Jackson: "Black or White"
  Fugees: "Killing me softly"
  Van Halen: "Jump"

... but the Group who dedicated most of their songs to Go, is Linking Park, of course:

  "Breaking the Habit"
  "I´ve given up!"
  "Never back down"
  "Easier to run with"
  "Pushing me away"
  "In the End"

... and even more.

How to use the quotes as a teacher with audio:
Put a "♩,♪,♫ or ♬" as comment on the stone/intersection,
put e.g. "♬ - crawling" and let the music tell the rest.
Thus, the pupils have something to remember.

Sprayable Go Board


Guest Book

[ext] Tokees Guest Book

Tokee/Tokees Art and Fun Page last edited by on August 24, 2015 - 02:36
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