Delusional Digit Kyu
The delusional digit kyu (aka “DeDK”) is a young person from America or Europe who has been playing go for approximately 2-3 months and is experiencing the warm, satisfying sensation of progressing from 18k to 11k or so during that time. He may have recently almost beaten several single digit kyus in the last week. Analyzing his rate of progression to date, the DeDK will generally expect to hit amateur 9d in less than 6 months, after which, upon getting serious about his Go hobby, he cheerfully intends to try for professional status. The delusion generally persists through another month or two, at which point the DeDK, improving at decreasing speed, reaches the 7-8kyu “wall” and comes to an utter and complete stop. Possible consequences include depression, anger, and/or abandonment of the game of go entirely. If the DeDK survives, he/she will generally emerge with full immunity to the delusion. While the delusion itself is not contagious, exposure to the deluded person can be harmful to the 0.00001% of Western players who actually have put in the time and effort to become pro. Specifically, when encountering the self-assured boasts and easy confidence of the DeDK, Western pros tend to develop an uncontrollable twitch that is best relieved by making a few ironic remarks, or pouring a stiff drink.