It seems like you suffer from a long term goal which you cannot convert into daily discipline. It is perhaps the strongest impediment for development of the self. The stimuli and satisfaction our mind needs on the short term, are not always in line with our ambition on the long term. This leads to frustration and a cyclic "kick myself" - "degenerate" pattern.

I know the feeling.

It all comes down to getting a more balanced self perception, where you seek those long term goals which convert into short term actions which ALSO make you happy.

I've been wanting to become a good go player too (5d) but as it involves more time spent in front of the computer, alone in a dark office, while doing something in group outside gives me the happy feeling I need to proceed, I switched to other goals, which perhaps are not so fulfilling as the ones I removed.