It's your translation, so I'm not going to edit the main page...

I think your latest edit is not an improvement! "It's older than the oldest writing" sounds more poetic to me. Replacing "writing" with "written word" is more precise, but for my taste it interrupts the flow of the poem.

I like "holds a mirror to the stars", but I wonder if "the board is a map of the stars" might be even better? I agree that "stars" is better than the literal translation of "universe".

Near the end, I'd suggest: "I, ignorant of most things, ignore one more". I think of "ignore" as continuous present tense, not a completed action, so "ignore once more" feels unidiomatic to me.

And for the last line, perhaps "of a labyrinth that will never be mine". For my taste, "won't" is too much like everyday language, and "will never" is more emotionally charged and more poetic. Did you mean "grave" in the sense of serious, or as a reference to a graveyard? Either way, I don't find it convincing: to me, the sentiment is more mysterious and a little bit melancholy, not tragic?

I'm really more of a mathematician than a poet, so feel free to ignore my suggestions if you don't find them helpful! Thanks for adding this poem and your translation to the library :-)