Two Go Players Walk into a Bar
This page has been created to try to bring into existance another instance of the stock joke. Everyone knows the old chicken joke "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Goban" Well ladies and gentlemen I give you the one, the only, the terrible, "Two Go players walk into a bar joke".
Two go players walk into a bar. One(5d) says to the other(2k), "So is it really true that this woman can beat every dan in the neighbourhood?" "Sure, there she is over there in the corner. I'm telling you straight though. You don't stand a chance." The 5 dan sniggers. He picks up a pint from the bar and saunters over to the corner. There at the table is a beautiful young women surrounded by dans. The five dan watches on as they queue up to play her. His 2k friend whispers to him "It's the same every night, she cleans them off the board, they never even make a single living group."
First off it's Olaf 4d, he starts off well, and seems to be in control of the board. Then something seems to switch and every single group he made dies in yose. Frank the 3d tries his luck next, he plays tightly, but can't make more than 3 half eyes. Paddy 7d sits and surely this time fortunes must be reversed! No such luck, he resigns within 20 moves. The 5 dan can't stand anymore - "What's wrong with you guys!?" he shouts. "You're playing like blind 30 kyus!"
He sits down quickly and bashes out his moves. Soon he's in command, a clear 50 point lead on the board. The lady seems all set to resign when some huge strapping 6ft+ muscular guy walks up to him with his fists raised. "What do you're think you're doing to my wife sunshine?" "Nothing I'm just playing Go." "The hell you were!" He smacks him in the chops. "AAAgh It was just a game stop it" "You were making eyes at her" Smack. The 5 dan was knocked out.
Paddy shook his head. "These 5 dans, they never learn."
- the end
P.S. if anyone can make it funny that would be great
--- In the spirit of 'walked into a bar jokes'... A pro teacher has taken three of his students out of the club to talk a little about how cosmic'ly wonderful go is. One is a double-digit kyu, one a single digit kyu, and one a dan player."Go is a metaphor for life." says the Professional Go player. "For example, take this zebra crossing. Black, white, black, white, the patterns of Go are found in all things." The amature players light up, particularly the double digit kyu. "Black, white, black white! I can do that!" he cried. So the three students started crossing the road, under the watchful eye of the pro. But! Suddenly! Bearing down on them was a car driven by a deranged escaper with nothing but speed and evil on his mind. The double digit kyu tried to run, but put himself in atari and died instantly. The single digit kyu saw and quickly decided to tenuki, but unfortunately the local situation was extremely urgent. However being third in line had given the dan player crucial thinking time. He glared at the position, and, since the pattern of go is found in all things, found a way to use the momentum of the oncoming car to flip it over his head and throw it into a nearby wall, where it exploded. He then sat down on the spot, wailing and gnashing his teeth. "If only I was a stone stronger! I could have saved the others!" he cried, "and maybe thrown the car two and a half meters further!" Needless to say, he spent the next four hours right there in the road going over his post-throw analysis.
The pro? Didn't bat an eyelid. He'd read the whole situation out from the beginning and considered the sacrifice worth it.
Hey ummmmmmm i'm not quite sure if i could make it funnier but I'll make a different one so here is my attempt
Two go players walk into a bar a 9-dan and a 1-dan. They go up to the bar and order some sake (appologizing ahead for how stupid this will turn out). The 1-dan then tells the 9-dan about a go prodigy that often showed up at the bar for a game once in a while and how it was impossible for anyone win against her the nine dan laughed and said,"there's no way she could win against me." the one dan replied "c'mon man this girl always finds a way to beat her opponents." suddenly the nine dan looks toward the corner and sees the go prodigy a young women about 23 or 24. "Is that her", Is that her the nine dan asks." It turns out it is so he grabs a seat by her and asks for a game. she accepts. The nine dan played his best and trust me it was more than enough he was winning by at least 2 hundred points. Meanwhile it was getting late and some of the street lamps were turned off. The woman then complained that it was not bright enough at the bar and so a table lamp was put on by one of the eager spectators. The nine dan grabbed a few stones out of the bowl when suddenly a white cane knocked him in the head. A blind man then yelled,"I'm not totally blind I saw you flash your stones at my wife." The nine dan lay there knocked out while the one dan mumbled to himself,"I told him, stupid nine dans that she always found a way to beat her opponent
well this is the version i thought would be batter you should tell me what you think naruto3