Fernobob
Fernobob plays go. He doesn't tend to do anything more interesting than that and doesn't even do that in a particularly interesting manner. He has neither an unusual playing style nor a great deal of skill and finds it unlikely that anyone really cares. In the long term, he hopes to reach shodan or make a non-minor edit on Sensei's library, whichever comes first. Thanks to a wonderful person called char, my name now has a capital letter which is a start.
Recently, it occurred to fernobob that since he still doesn't have any major edits on any pages and is a very unremarkable guy, it is unlikely that anyone will ever view this page. He has decided to test this theory by requesting anyone who does see this page to show that they have done so below to test this theory. It's all in the interest of reviewing the efficiency of Sensei's library and is therefore a valuable exercise. Since Fernobob frequently visits other people's home pages accidentally and quickly goes back without reading them, he has decided to assume that others are like him and include the story of the Brave Little Onion to attract the attention of anyone who visits non-deliberately.
The Story of the brave Little Onion
There is actually a story behind The Story of the Brave Little Onion involving a good deal of PHP scripting and a good deal of competition between Fernobob and two other unremarkable people. But this story is completely uninteresting. The most interesting part of it is that now there remains probably only one copy of it in the whole world and although Fernobob has a very good idea of where it may be, it may well not appear here. He can't actually remember whether or not it was a good story, he's only putting it in here so that the title can attract the attention of visitors so that they may read the above paragraph and contribute to his efficiency survey.
After three and a half minutes of searching, Fernobob has found the story of the brave little onion and decided to post it. He would like to emphasise that he didn't write it, merely encountered it and decided that it would be good for getting the attention of anyone who views this page for any reason.
The Story of The Brave Little Onion
Once upon a time, there was a small onion. However, this was not just a normal onion, this was the great onion of justice, come to this world to banish the evils of carrots, peas, nuts, tomatoes, oranges, apples, pineapples, pears, strawberries, broccoli, cauliflower, grapes, celery, potatoes, cucumbers, corn, spinach, beetroots, olives, persimmon, cherries, Papayas, crabapples and all other forms of fruit and vegetables! For these vegetables had become very naughty indeed, and had begun to sneak on to plates next to red meat and get eaten! This was, of course, against the law of the great runner-bean of power, who ruled the world of healthy food from his throne formed solely of the remains of roman pottery that he personally had found in the ground. Despite the throne, the vegetables felt that all are entitled to their eccentricities, and carried on in there strange little world, which was somewhat devoid of emotion since vegetables can't talk. Many vegetables were very upset and this inability but, naturally, failed to find the words to express it.
So, back to the small onion, on his quest! Now, the onion knew that there was soon to be a great uprising by the farmhouse, which to the vegetables was like a huge, towering, gigantic and generally ludicrously big house. Since that's basically what it was. Indeed, even the farmer wondered at its somewhat enigmatic proportions, since just the first floor stood at several times his height, and he couldn't see the top without glasses, though this may be excused due to his poor eyesight. In all fairness, he couldn't see the bottom without glasses either. But whatever he could or couldn't see in relation to his house, he failed to notice the small gathering of vegetables just outside his front door, which the onion was infiltrating from the beginning. These vegetables were planning to get in to the house, and demand a place beside the largest steak he had, roasted and salted, though the onion didn't know this yet. as far as he was concerned, it was no more than a good old socialise, which explains why, despite his supreme powers of justice, he wasn't often sent on missions. He was, as we might say, a few sandwiches short of a picnic, due to his blind lack of intelligence. He had also only brought the one picnic, which would only last him the one day, and without sufficient supplies in it, it didn't really do him very well at all, and all wondered that he didn't end up poisoned.
But anyhoo, as I was saying, before the rude onionish interruption! The onion was infiltrating, but wasn't doing a good job, due to his lack of intelligence and the dominance of his appetite, which was becoming somewhat irritating. Fortunately, his blind stupidity was due to the fact that vegetables don't have brains, and so the rebels were somewhat hindered as well. In the end, there was a drought and they all died anyway, even the onion of justice, though the world didn't miss him much, and the great runner-bean didn't even notice he was gone. Poor onion. And it turned out that the farmhouse wasn't big, it was just that the farmer was really, really small.
Moral: No good comes of being a vegetable
KGS Mentoring
Fernobob is currently theoretically involved in the KGSMentoringScheme though he has yet to find a mentor or a student. He is approximately 6k on KGS. Anyone who is interested in joining the mentoring scheme at any level in relation to him can figure out the easy way of contacting him which I would hope would be obvious, though I'm becoming increasingly suspicious that humanity is becoming too stupid to realise that I'm going to read anything that anyone adds to this page and so I have included a great whomping hint in this very sentence.
Depression
Despite what a single person has said upon reading this page, I am not depressed, nor do I wish to make out that I am. My theory is that if after about three people have read this, one of them gets that impression, about one third of the people who read this in total will. By my current estimate, that makes two people getting that impression of me which I wouldn't want. I have therefore taken the liberty of writing out a little paragraph clearing up the matter.
Fernobob's principles
Fernobob has very few principles. He feels that he should probably have more and so refuses to play people with tildes after their names.
The List of People Who Have Seen This Page
There used to be a list here, but after several people signed it, fernobob became bored and got rid of it. he accpets that a few people have seen this page, but as it hasn't been updated for quite a long time now, he assumes that no one else is planning to visit. If you scrolled down here, speciafically to sign the list that you didn't realise no longer existed, please sign the new list.
List of people who didn't realise that there was no list any more.
Phelan: Just to let you know I found your hidden page funny. :P fernobob: Glad to se someone appreciated it. :)