Maynerd
A "Maynerd" is a game of Go played with such extraordinary sloppiness, and so overwhelmingly riddled with mistakes, that by the end both parties are genuinely embarrassed to call themselves Go players, and often subsequently develop an intense hatred for the game of Go. Maynerds are usually characterized by misreads, overplays, and an overall disregard for common sense and good judgment. With most if not all canonical proverbs thrown to the wayside, the players are free to rely solely on misguided intuition to further their half-baked strategic goals. Massive semeais, absurd invasions, B2 Bombers and other grotesque creations, are common. A maynerd is not simply a low-level game, or a game between beginners; it is one in which both players are performing well below their usual standards, knowingly slapping down horrendous moves, because neither side has any remaining hope that the game may be salvaged and end up a respectable affair.
Particularly epic maynerds may be described as "thick", "wet", or "stinky". For example: "MAN that was a stinky maynerd last night!" Less common adjectives include: "horrendous", "steamy", "sloppy", or "rancid".
The detritus that litters the Go board during a real shitshow of a maynerd is referred to as "Mayonnaise".
Maynerds are especially prominent in the following situations:
- Internet Blitz
Blitz games on the go server are notorious for Mayonnaise, produced mostly from spectacular overplays and lack of reading.
- Pair Go
In pair go, neither player can communicate with the other. This makes playing with a consistent strategy nearly impossible, inevitably resulting in mayonnaise.
- Under the Influence
When Go players are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, maynerds often ensue. In their altered state, not only are their skills dulled, but their attitude towards the game often encourages maynerdom. Games late at night also increase the chances of a maynerd.
- Handicap Games
Handicap games, when played as all-out battles rather than with the aim of teaching, often lead to maynerds, because of White's constant overplays. As the weaker player, Black also contributes with his or her tendency to completely bungle the situation.
- Human-Computer matches
Games between a human and a computer player often become maynerds. This is because the human player usually decides to play against a computer only when he or she hasn't the mental energy to play a good game with another person, and just wants to lay down a thick one before bed. Players on KGS usually play unorthodox and unreasonable moves against computer programs, such as Zen19 or ManyFaces.
The end of a maynerd:
Maynerds often end in the death of a large group. Played in person, the end of a maynerd is signaled not by the quiet and respectful "makemashita", or "I resign", but rather by the violent sweeping of the stones from the board by the hand of the losing player - an attempt to erase the grotesque board position from his or her mind as quickly as possible. Sadly, when played online, maynerds often end in bitter trash-talking (a real filthy maynerd may even lead to suspension from the server by the admins) and even in some cases, escaping.
An occasional maynerd is considered by most to be perfectly harmless, however, there are those who fall into a viscous cycle of maynerding that they cannot escape. When you are about to engage in a game of Go, make sure you are aware of the potential hazards of a Maynerd, and if possible, take step to prevent it.