Zorksuji

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    Keywords: Humour

The Zorksuji is a new type of game ending move with power equivalent to that of the Nuclear Tesuji. It's creation was inspired from the experiences of an adventuring Go fanatic who had just returned from his latest treasure hunting expedition in the Great Underground Empire.

For the Zorksuji to be successful, the following conditions must be met:

  • You must be playing your opponent face to face.
  • You must be playing a game with time controls.
  • You must be playing in a fully enclosed room with no windows.

Once the three above conditions are met, the Zorksuji can be used to end the game for your opponent whenever you wish.

To perform the Zorksuji, simply follow these seven steps:

  1. Play a move, preferrably one that your opponent is going to want to think about for a minute or two.
  2. Stand up from the board and excuse yourself as if you were going to get a drink of water to quell the nerves or use the restroom.
  3. Make a beeline for the nearest lightswitch.
  4. Look back at your board to check that your opponent hasn't made his move yet, for enacting the Zorksuji on your turn could be disasterous.
  5. If your opponent is still thinking his move over, turn the lights off.
  6. Quickly and Loudly announce to the room: "It is Pitch Black. You are likely to be eaten by a [ext] Grue"
  7. Wait until one of the following happens:
  • The time on your opponents clock runs out, causing you win the match by time.
  • Your opponent makes a move anyways. You will hear a slobbering devouring noise, after which you must announce "You have been eaten by a Grue. You have died."

The Zorksuji is so effective that go players around the world have been trying to come up with means to counter this dreaded tactic. Some unconfirmed reports say that lighting an antique brass lantern or carrying Anti-Grue Repellant will save you from a Grue attack. The writer suggests that if your opponent stands up in the middle of the game that you play a move before he reaches a lightswitch. Installing clapper switches for the lights in any windowless room is another novel yet effective way of countering the Zorksuji.


Anonymous: I suggest locking any doors in case your opponent tries to escape.


Path: GoHumour   · Prev: Mento   · Next: 2ndGobanTesuji
This is a copy of the living page "Zorksuji" at Sensei's Library.
(OC) 2012 the Authors, published under the OpenContent License V1.0.
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