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Fear of Losing
Path: MentalityPath   · Prev: FearOfWinning   · Next: GoodHabits
   

I guess fear of losing might cause too cautious play when you're ahead (thereby allowing your opponent to catch up). That's small stuff. If you figured out how to get ahead in a game in the first place, overcoming this fear should be easy.

Real fear of losing is agonizing over your next move for days (playing on a turn based go server), all the while not being able to sleep or work because you're convinced that your next move will decide the outcome of the game. Fear of losing is finally being able to set aside a few hours to logon to KGS and play, but deciding to go over Graded Go Problems For Beginners again instead.

It's also found in the attitude "I'll start playing at the Go club when I get to 15k" and in the practise of escaping. It's related to the fear of a decrease in rank.

Things I try to remember to help me overcome fear of losing:

  • It's only a game
  • Don't Play To Win?
  • LoseYourFirst50GamesAsQuicklyAsPossible (or 100, or 200).
  • You can learn from your mistakes
  • You've probably lost already, anyway...
  • If your rank goes down, you get an extra stone in your next game - Bonus!

--sngrfxz


Myself, I've noticed fear of losing can manifest itself in playing the simple instead of the correct move because things might get complicated. --BlueWyvern


In my case, logging on KGS but no playing at all... or just playing a free game once a week... I should stop it soon or I'll lose all my level, being as little as it is by now. RBerenguel


HighQ: Wow, I tried to create this page because I thought I was the first to be such a chicken - it was already here!!! I'm with RBerenguel - I prefer to watch games on KGS, even when I see weak players getting better, rather than risk shame myself! What a loser (I am)! I'd rather play someone weaker and win than have a real challenge! Haven't done this yet, but seems like lots of folk recreate themselves regularly to get to play beginners.

What's the cure? I forced myself to play three rated games yesterday and got wiped out on the first two due to stupid mistakes and lost a grade (18k -> 19k). I nearly didn't play the last, but ended up winning it just and I was back (just) to 18k this morning . . .

I used to study Taekwondo (Korean form of Karate) and get the same physiological effects when playing a rated game: sweating, bowel movements (!) - the classic 'flight or fight' response. How can I chill out and enjoy it?

Is it just a few of us or is this common?

Bob McGuigan: I think a lot of people feel this way. It might stem from having too much ego invested in the game. If you lose it has some implication for your self-worth. In fact, mastery of the game of go is completely beyond human ability. Yes, 9p players play better, in general, than 25k players but 9p players such as the great Cho Chikun have repeatedly said that they feel lost in the face of the immensity of the game. Nobody is really any good at it in absolute terms. In view of this all we can do is enjoy it. We can try to understand a little more, and feel some satisfaction when we do, but it should be in personal terms, the way athletes celebrate personal bests. If you don't play and accept the risk of losing you also lose this opportunity. Everyone makes mistakes when playing and even 9p players make mistakes that a kyu level player could see. It's only human. Nakayama Noriyuki 6p, a famous teacher and go writer, said "Winning is enjoyable, but losing does not detract from the pleasure of playing." That's the attitude to strive for, I think. So where does the pleasure of playing lie if not in winning? I think it is in the search for understanding and for finding good moves.

Fwiffo: I've been guilty of this in the past, and sometimes find excuses to not play on a given day. So, instead of stressing about it, I play a free game, or if I'm particularly edgy, warm up by helping out a newbie with a 9x9 game. I try to make myself play one game every day (not counting any teaching games with newbies). If I lose - no biggie, it's just a free game. If I ever get confident or feel particularly "on", that's when I'll play rated. If you get in the habit of playing on a regular schedule, the desire to "stay in training" will beat out the fear of losing. Eventually I'll learn to relax - if you do anything often enough it'll stop being stressful.


HighQ: Thanks for the above comments - I'll try and force myself to play regularly and see if the stress gets less.

With me, I think it's linked to the need to set targets: I want to get to, say, 10k by the end of the year. Rather than help (as targets usually do) this additional pressure seems to crack me up. Maybe I need to set a "play 200 rated games by December 25th" target and let the rank worry about itself?

Niklaus: I agree, don't put yourself under that much pressure. Why don't you, instead of setting a rank as a target, say: "I want to get stronger at life & death", or "I want to improve my opening" etc.? Having something concrete to work on might help. Your rank will follow automatically. And don't worry about how fast you're advancing. Some people take half a year to get to shodan, others 20 years. Just try to enjoy playing and learning (of course, the game does get more interesting, the more you understand, but the cool thing about go is that you can have exciting games at any level).


Malweth: I definitely think forcing yourself to play can help! If you have a set schedule (I will always play every day at 4 pm) and try not to break it, you'll generally feel better about it after it becomes habitual.

It's also good to play some interesting games... play some simultaneous or just against someone playing simultaneous - it's a free game and you have a big advantage because they're distracted by multiple boards... try an odd board size ... play in a tournament (which helps espeically if you actually win a few games :)

I'm still trying to get over "fear of losing" - though I think my problem is closer to fear of playing poorly... I don't care if I lose and I'm outmatched, but I hate when I have a bad go-day and play poorly from begin game to L+D.

RBerenguel: I'll try to play more consistently, but... as everything go needs time and it's something I won't have after next week (start of second semester). Thank you all for your advices!


axd: before I started playing via Internet, I was not aware of the feelings associated with losing a game as strong as I experience when playing rated games. I think the main reason was because I had no rank at all (and I still don't play in a club). (To be honest, another was I didn't have strong opponents.) Whatever the reason be, my rank has introduced pressure in my games now. This effect made me think about my personality, but I also started considering to play more as in real life: play mainly rows of unrated games, and schedule personal 1-2 day rated "tournaments" every x weeks/months to "quantify" my progress. There I would experience the same (normal) pressure most people have (I assume) when participating in tournaments, which they will not experience while playing "informally" at the club. So in the end, to take a big leap: the advent of Go servers is maybe yet another example of our civilisation advancing at a pace that is far too fast than humans can handle.

However, I think players behave differently in unrated games than in rated: I would not be surprised if playing style depends on the rating of the game (because anyway, it's not rated, so one can try unusual things). If one trains mainly in an unrated environment, I wonder how (s)he would perform in a "rated" arena.


puripuri: One thing that gets left with little attention on this page is an "obvious" solution: In Internet Go we can create a new account and play with it. In the long run there's nothing to argue against this, and the pros are anonymity (no one can point a finger at YOU even if you lose), and with a rating system like KGS has, it resets the weight of the old games pressing down the rank of accounts that have improved a lot over time (I think, not know).

As a personal goal, I decided that I'm going to lose 100 rated games. I mean... Just playing normal rated games with correct handicaps, and trying to win to the best of my abilities every time... Until I have lost 100 times. While doing this, I find it highly amusing to note how my behavior changes after losses (I become generally "nastier" for no reason and sometimes some sort of headache starts to burn behind my forehead), and if I have any control over these symptoms. Probably over time these effects will get held down better, making for a healthier attitude towards life in general. Very similar problems have risen in all other hobbies I've tried over the times... Only 92 losses to go anymore too. ;)



Path: MentalityPath   · Prev: FearOfWinning   · Next: GoodHabits
This is a copy of the living page "Fear of Losing" at Sensei's Library.
(OC) 2004 the Authors, published under the OpenContent License V1.0.