[Welcome to Sensei's Library!]

StartingPoints
ReferenceSection
About


Paths
BadHabits

 

Belittling or denigrating the achievements of others
Path: BadHabits   · Prev: ArgueTheOpponentIntoHisMove   · Next: CallingOutAtari
   

Tonight I met with a group of Go players and was very excited to show them the big game I won recently by killing a big group. These people are the ones who have trained me over the past year (along with much online play) to advance from 30k to 9k.

I made it very clear, as I started to replay the game, that I got very lucky and my opponent made some silly mistakes.

And yet, one fellow insisted on showing me all the stupid moves I made, and all the spots where my opponent could have struck back and crushed me. This was not from a cautionary standpoint -- he did so to make jokes and poke fun.

I hope he had a good time, because it really took the wind out of my sails. A lot of this goes back to WhatItMeansToBeASensei, but it seems just plain rude to me to harp on the negative like this when a person is clearly so excited about his/her achievement. He made jokes (as he often does) about how he always makes dumb moves too, but his comments just sucked the joy out of the evening.

None of my non-Go-playing friends could understand why I would be so elated about this diagram I kept showing them -- and then when I found a group of people who might understand, one of them made it his mission to break apart all of my euphoria.

Don't do this! If someone achieves some Go-related victory, be happy for them and celebrate at their side!

-- Scartol

Confused: Scartol, are you sure, you weren't just fishing for compliments? Although making fun of someone elses achievement isn't good practice, perhaps you weren't really in the mood for a fair analysis of the game either.

Peter Mioch's interview of Catalin Taranu has a very telling story about game analyses ([ext] here, sub-section Pride) .

Dieter: I acknowledge that you had a very good feeling about this game. This game and the way it ended - with a large kill - surely brought you a lot of satisfaction. I would certainly not try to bring you back down to earth by making belittling comments. After all, it takes only a 5d to make my comments look ridiculous and another 9p to ridicule the 5d. Once the excitement has settled down however, I'd recommend to go over this game once again with a stronger player. He will be able to point out weaknesses in your approach and teach you how to kill such large groups with even more sharpness. When you receive those comments not as an attempt to show how weak you are after all, but as an opportunity to learn, there will be more and deeper satisfaction later. In the meantime, enjoy the triumph.

Charles Matthews No one should use their position as a stronger player in a group to run down weaker players, in any fashion. This runs completely against the spirit of teaching in the game's best traditions. That being said, it is usually possible to learn more from expert analysis of a game one has lost.

Scartol: I didn't mean to suggest that I'm not open to review and criticism -- quite the contrary, I seek it out all the time. But this was an occasion in which I wanted to 'strut my stuff' a little, as it were. Of course we should be willing to hear what better players think of our games, so we can benefit from their knowledge. But as I said, my friend was not commenting in the spirit of education and stewardship; he was making fun and using his skill to intentionally reduce my elation. Sad.

unkx80: Actually I think we can make a lot of comments on this game you have posted. Except that we are all looking for the right time to start posting comments. =)

Chris Hayashida: I find I accidentally do this sometimes. I'm so used of teaching mode, that sometimes I don't realize the player just wanted a "good job there." (I've been accused of this in trying to "fix" a problem that a friend is having, instead of just "listening to it and sympathizing.") Anyway, congrats on a good game. Nice kill. :)



Path: BadHabits   · Prev: ArgueTheOpponentIntoHisMove   · Next: CallingOutAtari
This is a copy of the living page "Belittling or denigrating the achievements of others" at Sensei's Library.
(OC) 2004 the Authors, published under the OpenContent License V1.0.