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Humour Almost Proverbs
Keywords: Humour
Some proverbs that never made it to the Go playing community.
(See GoProverbs for those that did.)
- Cut first, think later.
- Never try to smoke a bamboo joint.
- Hitting your opponent on the head with a wooden stick is vulgar style.
- When you have a train to catch, resign. [1]
- Strange things happen at the 17?14 point
- The first line is the edge of the board
- Play fast, lose fast. Play slow, lose slow
- The empty sake bottle shape is negative
- Learn the wallet-stealing tesuji
- Learn the Tenuki tesuji
- Strong players walk straight
- The strongest player knows the way to the restaurant.
- The walls may have ears, but they don't have eyes.
- If throwing in doesn't work, try throwing up.
- Play kikashi before you forget.
- Tenuki before you forget.
- Don't die with gote. [2]
- Faint in the east before attacking the west [8]
- Lose 100 stones as quickly as you can.
- Since everything works in Theory, let's move there.
- A stone on the board is worth two in the bowl.
- An oddity, an oddity, always an oddity.
- Give me liberties, or give me death.
- It is better to dip your fingers in the coffee than to try to drink the stones.
- Know the time-stealing tesuji.
- White is always keeping the black stone down.
- Don't play Go in the nude if you don't have the stones.
- Even a moron peeps at an open skirt.
- The 9 stone handicap does not qualify you for government disability.
- Joseki addiction is a symptom of brain hormone deficit. (Taken from
Hiroshi's Go Proverbs)
- Don't play a time-stealing tesuji with your first move
- When in doubt, tenuki.
- Let him that is without gote place the first stone. ?Simon Goss
- Reading Western authors on go loses four stones in strength. [3] ?Stevertigo
- Except when you are trying to understand Bill Spight; you either gain two stones or lose two stones in strength; it's Miai. [4]
- Read Hikaru and lose two stones in strength. Watch Hikaru and lose four.
- Play Hikaru no Go and lose a lot more strength? [9]
- (Based on the above:) Whatever you do, you'll lose two stones in strength.
- If at first you don't succeed, die, die again.
- Don't overlook the rest of the board. (Look it over, but don't overlook it? ;?)
- Rules strength and playing strength are independent. ?Ing Chang-ki
- Sacrifice every group of fewer than seven stones! (Russian proverb)
- It is better to die in good shape than to live in bad shape. ?RobertJasiek
- Strange things happen in byo-yomi.
- Cut first, ask questions later
- Don't cut without thinking. Think first, then cut anyway.
- Why cut your losses when you can cut everywhere!
- When in doubt, tenuki?but don't be in doubt when attacked!
- Having two large groups is better than having one small group.
- When the samurai verifies the presence of his head during fight, the dragon smiles. [5]
- To comprehend the games of Go Seigen is to have too much free time on one's hands. ?TimBrent
- Don't try to win. Try not to lose.[6]
- variation: Don't try to lose.
- Don't play Go and feel bad; play bad Go and feel good.[7]
- Peep first, ask questions later.
- Never attack a weak group lest it will become a strong group. ?Skelley
- Never hesitate to play bad shape. ?Skelley
- An empty triangle is only bad shape when it's bad shape. ?Skelley
- Drive your opponent up the wall.
- Bad shape is never good shape unless worse shape comes along. ?Skelley
- No answer is also an answer. (Hopi proverb)
- Use ladders to climb the walls. ?Jasonred
- Dame is worth ten points.
- Seen from a sufficient distance, the black and white stones of any go game form their own unique shade of grey. SkyCrashesDown
- Do not pass. Do not collect $200.
- Go is like golf
- Government health warning: Applying these proverbs to your games may seriously damage your strength.
[1]: This one is true!! Someone I know missed her train because she kept on playing while she was behind?even though I warned her using this proverb :?) Jan
[2] See also ?Get strong at gote? http://users.skynet.be/rexburton/gote.jpg from Ritchie Press
[3] I think that Charles Matthews, Pieter Mioch, and Rob Van Zeijst are all excellent Western Go authors. :?) (Not that I have read anybody else.) ?BillSpight
I agree, Bill, and I think this proverb may be soon completely obsolete, but I put it there for historical accuracy: it only recently was certainly true. :D ?Stevertigo
By the standard of that proverb Reading Eastern Authors on Go Loses 5 stones strength on average. ?RobertJasiek
[4]: Seriously though, thinking about endgame plays like Bill does has slowed down my yose play to a Molasses Ko speed and moreover killed my intuition. What's worse, my endgame does not seem to be impoving at all. Maybe there's some good advice there: don't try to understand Bill's stuff until you are at least 10 kyu (rough estimate, please adjust, fellow deshi): You won't (understand Bill) and certainly you can't (emulate him). Or you might try? :?)
But then I'll catch you in a ladder?
I'm just glad there is no such strict analysis for fuseki yet? I (think I) can still do that quite well! ?Jan
Bill: Seriously, I play yose by intuition. Do calculation away from the table. In time you'll see the biggest plays, and how to get tedomari.
As for strict analysis for fuseki, learn tewari. :?)
And identifying miai is valuable in all stages of the game. :?)
[5] See also ?Get strong at inventing proverbs? http://users.skynet.be/rexburton/proverbe.jpg from Ritchie Press
[6] Sadly, it's so true? ?dnerra
[7] (With apologies to actor Leslie Nielsen) ?TimBrent
[8] ?Faint? and ?feint? form a pun here. It's just not funny as ?feint?, though indeed that's the correct term in the actual proverb. ?TnG (to whoever keeps changing it to feint) (oh no?have I got OCWED too?)
[9] Jasonred: This has been especially true for my playing Hikaru no Go 2 for the GBA? they give you really AWFUL opponents, Isumi is the strongest you face at the beginning, then they introduce Stone Get and VS mode where you are rewarded with stuff for facing these guys with high handicaps? trust me people, playing horrid opponents but giving them 9 stones on a 13×13 is just going to teach yourself bad Go habits?
This is a copy of the living page
"Humour Almost Proverbs" at
Sensei's Library.
2003 the Authors, published under the OpenContent License V1.0.
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