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Go Limericks
    Keywords: Culture & History, Humour

Go Limericks.

(These ones are pretty poor, but it might start off something.)

 There was a 3k player from Toulouse,
 Who had a bad tendency to fall into a snooze.
 So while he snored,
 his opponent won the board,
 upon waking he said "I didn't deserve to loose!"

(Not based on real a person, honestly)

 There was a dan player from Gent,
 Who saw the four in the corner were bent.
 So he smiled from ear to ear,
 As he pushed back his chair,
 saying "That, my dear friend, was excellent"

-- MortenPahle

(Sorry for the non-Dutch speakers)

 Er was eens een gobord en stenen
 Aan de bar een stel prachtige benen
 Een sente zet, snel !
 Toen waren zowel
 de vrouw als de aji verdwenen

DieterVerhofstadt

B+R

 A tournament player from Bari
 had plans for a furikawari.
 Two moves down the line
 he had to resign:
 he'd missed a straightforward atari.

--Stefan

Speed

 A student who hated to lose
 took 5 or 10 minutes a move
 his sensei said "while it's
 a tedious practise"
 at least it allows me to snooze

--Sc4rM4n

Shape

 A room full of clam shell and slate
 A painstaking game was my fate
 We opened debates
 Soon in dire straits
 The sense of good shape came too late

--Dieter

Divine intervention

 A Japanese insei on the way to Korea,
 was playing on the boat crossing the sea.
 On the gently rolling Goban
 sliding stones helped his chuban,
 he said 'Neptune must really like me !'

--MortenPahle

BadHabits

 A brilliant nidan from Seattle
 Annoyingly stones liked to rattle
 Until a 1-kyu
 With lots of glue
 Brought tranquility back to the battle.

Rivals

 In the midst of a heated jubango,
 I made a hideous dango.
 My opponent cried, "Right!
 "I've got you tonight!"
 And danced a gleeful fandango.

Theory/Practice

 A book-learned high kyu from Kent
 In late chuban found cause to lament,
 "I opened on tengen,
 "Just like Go Seigen,
 "But don't know where my influence went!"
 An earnest young dan from Sri Lanka
 Was getting the hang of the haengma.
 Her stones flowed and surged,
 Groups linked up and merged.
 She said, "Soon my games'll all be in Ranka."
 A rude and hotheaded shodan
 At the club, had nary a fan.
 Complaining of damage
 Due to his rampage,
 Said they, "he ruined a goban."

--TakeNGive


Here's another one! I'm Italian, so please forgive me if the metric is not correct... Ah! And, by the way, this is a little autobiographical... ;-)

  There was an old 3k of Roma
  Who always had a garlic aroma
  With his bodily smoke,
  his opponent would choke,
  That unfair 3k of Roma

--AvatarDJFlux


Patchi

 In last week's go course, Ms. Guo Juan
 patchi'd a magnetic goban!
 She showed the kiai
 of Akira and Sai.
 As you guessed, I'm a Hikaru fan.

--Stefan

 Speaking of which, I submit
 to her Go skills, humour and wit
 "Interesting move !"
 preluded the proof
 my idea was a total misfit

--Dieter


Family Rivalry

 There once was a young girl from Brooklyn
 Whose Dad said, "We're racing to shodan!"
 He'd taught her to play
 But his edge lost its sway
 After she finally bought her own goban.

--Regyt


 I went to a toy-selling store
 To ask for this game we adore.
 A Go-set I craved
 But left quite amazed -
 It doesn't exist anymore!

(True story - when the shopkeeper said to me "That game doesn't exist anymore" she was referring to a specific edition a western toy company had once released. She didn't know there are also other editions....)

 When playing among many flies
 "How very annoying !" he cries.
 Until, with a frown,
 Looking where one sat down,
 He discovers: "That group of stones dies!".

 After analyzing the endgame components,
 young Michael hesitated a moment;
 then threw it against the wall --
 goban, stones, and all --
 prior to uppercutting his opponent.
 Upon losing, Sue cried out in pain
 and screamed "I never lose! This is insane!
 You cheated! You suck!
 I just had bad luck!"
 Then typed: "Thanks for an excellent game."

(Dedicated to the IGS addicts)

Scartol


Patience

 A tourist in fair Hokkaido
 Begged a wise man, "Just one game of Go!"
 Said the learnèd sensei,
 "Being so eager to play
 Loses two stones in strength, don't you know."
 I once sought to find a new way
 To calculate best endgame play.
 For weeks I did slave
 But neglected to shave
 And so found that I'd grown a gote.

KarlKnechtel


Hikaru no Go

 A pale pimply kid told me "Yo!"
 "Let us play a game of that go."
 "I never played before now."
 "But, I'll give you 9 stones and a bow,"
 "'cause I read Hikaru no Go!"

--Skelley


The Dreaded Pincer

 As much as I like to play Go
 Some joseki I just do not know
   If I play a kakari
   To prevent a shimari
 A pincer will cause me much woe.

--Alex Weldon


Big Go

There was once a Go player named Po, Who was fat and couldn’t see his toes. He sat on the board As the Go stones soared, Then ate some ramen and ate some Mo’

--Toorima?

See also: Library limericks and Go Haiku



This is a copy of the living page "Go Limericks" at Sensei's Library.
(OC) 2003 the Authors, published under the OpenContent License V1.0.