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Humour Almost Proverbs
Keywords: Humour
Some proverbs that never made it to the Go playing community.
(See GoProverbs for those that did.)
- Never try to smoke a bamboo joint
- Hitting your opponent on the head with a wooden stick is vulgar style
- When you have a train to catch, resign. [1]
- Strange things happen at the 17-14 point
- The first line is the edge of the board
- Play fast, lose fast. Play slow, lose slow
- The empty sake bottle shape is negative
- Learn the wallet stealing tesuji
- Learn the Tenuki tesuji
- Strong players walk straight
- The strongest player knows the way to the restaurant.
- The walls may have ears, but they don't have eyes.
- If throwing in doesn't work, try throwing up.
- Play kikashi before you forget.
- Tenuki before you forget.
- Don't die with gote. [2]
- Faint in the east before attacking the west
- Lose 100 stones as quickly as you can.
- Since everything works in Theory, let's move there.
- A stone on the board is worth two in the bowl.
- An oddity, an oddity, always an oddity.
- Give me liberties, or give me death.
- It is better to dip your fingers in the coffee than to try to drink the stones.
- Know the time-stealing tesuji.
- White is always keeping the black stone down.
- Don't play Go in the nude if you don't have the stones.
- Even a moron peeks at an open skirt.
- The 9 stone handicap does not qualify you for government disability.
- Joseki addiction is a symptom of brain hormone deficit. (Taken from
Hiroshi's Go Proverbs)
- Don't play a time stealing tesuji with your first move
- When in doubt, tenuki.
- Let him that is without gote place the first stone. --Simon Goss
- Reading Western Authors on Go Loses 4 stones strength. [3] --Stevertigo
- Except when you are trying to understand Bill Spight; you either gain 2 stones or lose 2 stones in strength; it's Miai. [4]
- Read Hikaru and lose two stones in strength. Watch Hikaru and lose four.
- (Based on the above:) Whatever you do, you'll lose 2 stones in strength.
- If at first you don't succeed, die, die again.
- Don't overlook the rest of the board. (Look it over, but don't overlook it? ;-)
- Rules strength and playing strength are independent. --was: Ing Chang-ki
- Sacrifice every group of fewer than 7 stones! --Russian proverb
- It is better to die in good shape than to live in bad shape. --RobertJasiek
- Strange things happen in byoyomi.
- Cut first, ask questions later
- When in doubt, tenuki -- but don't be in doubt when attached!
- Why cut your losses when you can cut EVERYWHERE!!!!
- Having two large groups is better than having one small group.
- When the samurai verifies the presence of his head during fight, the dragon smiles. [5]
Government health warning: Applying these proverbs to your games may seriously damage your strength.
[1]: This one is true!! Someone I know missed her train because she kept on playing while she was behind - even though I warned her using this proverb :-) Jan
[2] From http://users.skynet.be/rexburton/ritchie.htm:
[3] I think that Charles Matthews, Pieter Mioch, and Rob Van Zeijst are all excellent Western Go authors. :-) (Not that I have read anybody else.) --BillSpight
I agree, Bill, and I think this proverb may be soon completely obsolete, but I put it there for historical accuracy : it only recently was certainly true. :D --Stevertigo
By the standard of that proverb Reading Eastern Authors on Go Loses 5 stones strength on average. --RobertJasiek
[4]: Seriously though, thinking about endgame plays like Bill does has slowed down my yose play to a Molasses Ko speed and moreover killed my intuition. What's worse, my endgame does not seem to be impoving at all. Maybe there's some good advice there: don't try to understand Bill's stuff until you are at least 10 kyu (rough estimate, please adjust, fellow deshi): You won't (understand Bill) and certainly you can't (emulate him). Or you might try... :-)
But then I'll catch you in a ladder ...
I'm just glad there is no such strict analysis for fuseki yet... I (think I) can still do that quite well! -- Jan
Bill: Seriously, I play yose by intuition. Do calculation away from the table. In time you'll see the biggest plays, and how to get tedomari.
As for strict analysis for fuseki, learn tewari. :-)
And identifying miai is valuable in all stages of the game. :-)
[5] From http://users.skynet.be/rexburton/ritchie.htm:
This is a copy of the living page
"Humour Almost Proverbs" at
Sensei's Library.
(C) the Authors, published under the OpenContent License V1.0.
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