Fear of winning

I play a lot of strong players in real life(1-6 dan, even, fast, I'm about 2k), and I find that I've grown quite accustomed to losing. So much so that my goal is rarely to win, but more often to find interesting play. When I get into games on KGS or IGS...and I come to a scenario where I begin to feel the pressure to win, to "represent" my rating, (usually after I'm ahead) I begin to slack off, it ceases to be as interesting, because I'm not catching up...Lasker said (of chess), "the most difficult part is to win a won game" (paraphrased a bit). I've gotten used to losing games this way, and frankly it's annoying. Any ways to fix this?

mgoetze: Sure... stop playing even games against stronger players! Handicaps are there to make the game exciting for both players, and they will certainly fix these problems...

Bill: I have the same problem. In fact, in my younger years I was known for my jigo. Without counting, too. ;-)

Like many problems in life, they cease to be problematical when you don't consider them problems anymore. ;-) Life is a mixture of cooperation and competition. What's wrong with jigo?

There was a time when I felt that I was stagnating at 3-dan, despite continuing to study. I set my goal on winning games to up my rating, and took my rating up over a stone in three months.

If your goal is not to win but to find interesting plays, but you find losing too annoying, maybe a shift in goals would be interesting. You find yourself losing interest when you are ahead. But there are still plenty of interesting plays on the board. Where does your interest lie?

Scartol: As someone in the middle of an agonizing and emotionally draining losing streak, allow me to cry you a river of tears for all the games you're compelled to win. I wish you the best of luck in racking up more losses. =)

the first?: Hey, It's me, the guy who wrote that first tirade. So Here's an update...I think I've gotten past my fear of winning, I'm about 2 dan at this point, and my reading is getting better, I had to teach myself to stop and think and enjoy that part of the game more...thanks for your advice you guys!